Battles
by DumbledoreWhy
Summary: The Gryffindor crowd at the beginning of the First War, the darker war side with the friend/relationship stuff. I have used characters like Molly and Arthur who I know wouldn't have been at Hogwarts with the others but I just like the dynamics and dislike making up characters when Queen J.K Rowling gave us so many brilliant ones.
1. Little Children

Lily Evans should have expected to wake early that morning, she always did.

She sat up pushing her thick, long hair out of her face and blearily rubbed the sleep from her eyes. It was a bleak, misty first of September and she sighed before she threw back her thick duvet and stumbled, shivering slightly to the bathroom. As she showered quickly she let the water run on her face to wake her up then, pulling on jeans and a pale blue jumper, she crept back into her bedroom.

On the pull out sofa bed in the corner, Molly Prewett was still fast asleep, lying flat on her back, plump and rosy, Molly had hair a shade less red than Lily's but wildly curly with a softer, freckled face and kind hazel eyes. On the camp bed on the floor; Alice Fortescue was slighter, paler and very short. Straight, dark hair against her pale slender face and neck gave her a dramatic look but she, like Molly, was full of nothing but love and kindness. Lily smiled to herself as she looked at her friends lying so peacefully and then crept downstairs, began tentatively cooking bacon (she'd never managed well with kitchen related tasks) and sure enough after some time the smell roused the rest of the house. Molly stumbled into the kitchen in a matter of moments wearing a fluffy, lilac dressing gown, her ginger frizz all in disarray and Lily's parents emerged minutes later. Petunia stropped into the kitchen at around 7:30am, nibbled at some dry toast and announced that Vernon was coming to take her out for the day so if anyone so much as mentioned Lily and her friends...Mr Evans silenced her with a stern look and she slammed off upstairs mumbling under her breath.

At eight o'clock Mrs Evans sent Lily upstairs to wake Alice, they really must leave by nine to get these girls to King's Cross on time. It took Molly and Lily together a full ten minutes to wake Alice. They shook her, poked her, shouted, slapped and flicked and only when Lily poured a cold glass of water on her did she finally wake up. She stared incredulously at them, her hair sticking out in upwards spikes, her eyes hazy and unfocused and water dripping down her chin; Molly and Lily bolted downstairs laughing.

Mr Evans stood outside the house staring disbelievingly at his car, there was so much to fit in! Three huge trunks bearing each of the girls' initials, two owls and one cat in cages and small bags for each girl containing her wand, a small purse of galleons and her uniform for the journey. Yet with much puffing, squeezing and loud cursing it did all fit in and the three girls crushed into the back all buzzing with excitement. The journey unfolded with no major disasters and so at last Mr Evans stopped the car outside King's Cross station and three enthusiastic sixth year Gryffindors tumbled out and raced off to find trolleys. When they came to the familiar section of brick wall between platforms nine and ten Alice and Molly rushed through the barrier together and Lily with her mother one side and father the other crossed through after them onto Platform nine and three quarters.

There were reasonably few people on the platform because the girls had arrived early so as to meet some of the others. While her two best friends bustled off in search of long-missed boyfriends, Lily stood and amused herself by watching her parents in their yearly ritual, as they stared all around them pointing out phenomena of the magical world to each other. Just as Lily was grinning to herself (her father had just reacted rather hilariously when he saw a boy with a chocolate frog) she heard a voice beside her that was all too familiar.

"Evans, looking absolutely beautiful as per usual! How was your summer?" James Potter winked at her with a dazzling smile and ruffled his messy, black hair.

Lily rolled her eyes and turned to look up at him. He was not this tall last term, had she shrunk?

"Hi Potter, summer was good thanks, how was yours?" she answered politely, inwardly praying for her parents to call her over and as luck would have it...

"Lily sweetheart? We're going to have to rush off now, we thought we'd meet your sister and Vernon for lunch, it's about time we got to know him."

Lily hurried over thankfully but contradictory to her theory James merely walked over with her. She gave him an odd look but he simply ruffled his hair and grinned.

"Lovely to meet you Mr Evans, my name is James Potter." He shook her father's hand earnestly.

"Ahh yes, Lily's friends mentioned you, something of a Kweedish player aren't you?" Lily's father had been drawn in.

"Well yes I do enjoy a nice game! And it's delightful to meet you Mrs Evans, I can see where Lily gets her stunning good looks from!" James kissed her mother's hand. To her horror her mother made no attempt to disguise the blushing and giggling that accompanied the swoon Potter so often caused. As Lily was staring at the scene before her, not quite understanding how it had got to here she heard a voice which instantly calmed her down.

"In a way you have to admire him, there isn't another person on earth quite so capable of charming everyone so easily!"

Beside her a thin, pale boy with light brown hair, tired eyes and scars all over was smiling meekly at her.

"Remus!" Lily hugged him tight then she held him at arm's length and her face took on a worried expression. "Remus are you ok? Your scars look so much worse!"

She frowned but he just nodded sadly.

"I'll be fine Lily, thanks though." She smiled at him then turned back to James who was now complimenting her parents on everything from their fascinating muggle lifestyle to their beautiful daughter who was a "credit" to them, he was all smiles, clichés and hair ruffling and her parents were completely taken in.

"Oh my god! How does he do it? Even my mum has that look on her face all the girls get at school when he winks at them, my own MUM!" Lily exclaimed in distress.

"Ahh, Evans, bit early for shouting isn't it? Glad to be back?" another tall, dark haired boy appeared beside her. Lily groaned.

"Hi Sirius." she replied bluntly. "Potter is over there."

"Oh I wondered where Prongs had got to. Well he looks busy so I won't disturb him. Moony, my friend! How was your summer? Feels like I hardly saw you!" Sirius' long hair was just as messy as usual but since the summer his face seemed more matured and much to Lily's disgust had grown even more handsome, he really didn't deserve it.

"Oh just my parents...you know what their like…always trying something new to get rid of my…." Remus stopped and he looked worried and in severe pain.

Sirius dropped his cocky act and looked serious, completely changing his face.

"Moony, what happened?" he put his arm around his friend's shoulder and whispered something Lily couldn't quite hear which seemed to reassure Remus, then he whispered again and Remus laughed and composed himself.

"Right? I promise mate, you'll be ok!" Sirius smiled kindly. "Oh look! It's Snivellus! Surely it's a health and safety risk to carry grease on a school train?" Sirius laughed then looked at them confused. Remus was smiling worriedly and Lily looked annoyed. "Oh come on guys? That was funny…Fine! If James were here he would've laughed!"

Peter Pettigrew arrived beside him at the optimal moment with a hearty laugh, Sirius grinned triumphantly and then James joined them.

"Moony, Wormtail." he nodded. "Anyway Evans, your mum and dad are so nice! They're going now so..."

Lily's green eyes were glinting angrily, her pale cheeks were flushed pink and she looked downright furious but she stormed over and hugged her parents none the less.

"Oh Lily darling, that young man seems absolutely delightful! SO charming and very good looking isn't he?" her mother blushed.

"I hope the two of you are friends? He speaks highly of you!" Mr Evans smiled. Lily inwardly cursed James Potter and his stupid charm and bade farewell to her parents.

"Remember to thank the Prewetts for doing the end of term journey!" her mother ran back to her with last minute checks and by the time Lily found her way back to where Molly and Alice had first vanished they were nowhere in sight and it was one minute to eleven.

Lily accompanied Remus to complete their prefect duties with no trouble and about half an hour into the journey they were done, Remus went straight off to find the rest whilst Lily made a brief stop to chat to a few Ravenclaw friends. After a few minutes she began walking down the train peering in every single carriage and, in the very final compartment which was known for being far bigger than the others, the Gryffindor crew had settled. Molly was snuggled up to Arthur in a corner chatting with the two Lily hadn't seen yet, her other two best friends Mary McDonald, elegant with soft brown hair and a rounded face, beside her Marlene McKinnon, high cheekbones framed by blonde waves and the twinkle in her large blue eyes that Lily often associated with something mischievous, though what more could be expected from the girl who spent her childhood being partner in crime to Sirius. Alice was perched on Frank's lap playing a game of wizard's chess with...Sirius Black. Sure enough next to Sirius was Remus and opposite him, beside Molly was Peter and on the end next to the only seat available was Potter. Lily made no attempt in hiding the glares she gave Alice and Molly. They had chosen a compartment with THE MARAUDERS! What was wrong with them?

"Evans, nice of you to join us!" Sirius beamed cockily and exchanged a wink with James. Lily groaned out loud and slamming the compartment door shut took the remaining seat next to an unbearably satisfied, grinning Potter.


	2. The Call

A few carriages down, Severus Snape was in a compartment with Bellatrix Black, Rodolphus Lestrange, Muliciber, Rosier, Avery and Crabbe. He sat miserably in a corner while the others spoke in bitter and almost comically evil tones.

"Yes! That ought to teach that blood traitor cousin of mine in and the rest of...Gryffindor..." she spat at the word "...a lesson!"

Severus was bored now, as much as he hated Sirius and the rest of the marauders he couldn't partake in any act against Gryffindor. He sighed involuntarily, as he did every time he thought of her. He could go now! Go and apologise to her in time for the new term to start, they would be together again and he could ditch Bella and the rest.

"Errm...i'm just going to the toilet." he stood. The group stared at him, angry for disrupting and he ran out of the door.

She was probably in one of the end carriages with that gaggle of girls who regarded him somewhat like they regarded particularly unpleasant animals in Care of Magical Creatures. He sighed again then told himself that despite that he could still talk to her if he wanted, so in a sudden moment of confidence he marched down the corridor and to his delight saw a flash of her fiery red hair as he drew near the last compartment, she was laughing. He loved it when she laughed, her hair breezed about and her eyes burnt almost uncomfortably bright, Severus swiftly turned through the door and looked at her.

"Lily," He met her eyes as she turned around.

"Sev." she looked stunned and for a few seconds their eyes just fixed to each other.

Lily wasn't certain whether to slap him or hug him but she didn't have to decide. Severus came quickly to his senses and realised where she was. Sitting in a compartment with the usual Gryffindor crowd but also that stupid oaf Pettigrew and Lupin, a conundrum, near her was Sirius Black who was smirking infuriatingly (hatred bubbled in the pit of Severus's stomach) and right there, next to Lily with his arm arrogantly flung over the back of her chair, his glasses crooked, his hair ruffled...was Potter. Potter. Potter had been making her laugh. Potter was there with Lily. Potter with HIS Lily. Snape felt like someone had smacked the air out of him. Angry tears pricked hot in Severus's eyes and then Potter stood up: he and Sirius had gone all summer subdued and, though he was indeed a changed man whether Lily believed it or not, Severus was a different case.

"Snape, get out of here before I hex you out." his voice came with it's easy confidence. Lily looked stunned.

"Potter, get out of my way, I'm here to talk to Lily. Lily, what the hell are you doing with these prats?" Severus looked desperate and imploring.

"Oi! Good start Sniv, just march in here and insult us." Sirius was on his feet now as well but Lily stood up separating James and Sirius from Snape, she knew how she felt now.

"Severus I'm not really sure you've got any right to tell me who my friends can be anymore have you?" her voice was a little shaky, her cheeks were hot.

Arthur spoke up loyally:

"Snape, you're just upsetting everyone here so please just go!"

"NO! I came to talk to Lily and no one is going to stop me! Not gangly seventh years, sickly goodie goodies, fat idiots or a thick, arrogant Black who is probably a death eater like the rest of his family..." Severus trailed off and looked terrified, he'd gone too far and he knew it, the whole carriage held its' breath and stared in concern at Sirius, Snape had touched the sorest point he could and Sirius looked livid. He stepped dangerously forward.

"Snape, GET OUT." he spoke quietly but with so much anger it seemed to shake the air.

"James, Sirius will you both SIT DOWN!" Lily snapped. Marlene and Frank pulled the boys into their seats.

"Lily you can't seriously be hanging out with these pricks!" Severus was hurt and angry.

"Severus Snape who do you think you are? You threw away any right you ever had to discuss who I spend time with!" she yelled. Severus was so upset that he glared at the rest of the carriage and yelled back without meaning to.

"What? When I called you a mudblood? Well I'd come to apologise about that actually but seeing you with these idiots proves you're exactly that! A MUDBLOOD! A mudblood! A stuck up, worthless little Gryffindor mudblood!" It was out before Snape could stop it and just as before, he couldn't take it back. He'd never meant it but now he knew, before Lily even responded that whatever he wanted, that was it. Sirius pulled out his wand and James turned his head upwards with a look of pure thunder.

"Snape, get out!" Her eyes sparkled with fury, her face was drained but with flushed cheeks and her slender hand aimed the wand right at his heart, and with one last glance Snape's tears spilled over and he fled.

Lily let out a breath she'd been holding for some time, shuddered and collapsed down onto the seat. No-one dared to speak for a good few minutes. Molly, Mary and Alice sat beside Lily looking worried, Peter huddled silently in a corner and looked nervously from person to person, Remus stared concerned at Lily, Frank frowned in a corner considering what he had witnessed, Arthur sat quietly looking annoyed, he cared for Lily as they all did, James sat on top of the seat glowering and Sirius sat glaring at the spot where Snape had been and began to think darkly of all the ways he would make Snape pay for what he'd said; about Sirius being like his family, about the rest of his friends and above all about Evans.

Remus thought he was the only person who noticed Sirius' silence and the expression on his face, the black hatred which every now and then flickered into a dark smirk, he knew that face and it didn't end well. His brow furrowed. At least James was too distracted by Lily to think too much, all he knew was that Padfoot and Prongs were not the two to let Snape say those terrible things and not retaliate. Marlene too had noticed Sirius' look, her oldest if not best friend, she'd seen that look many times before, anger consumed his handsome features like nobody else she knew and she nudged him with her foot, their eyes meeting in wordless resolve. Finally Alice broke the silence:

"Well it wouldn't be Hogwarts without a bit of drama hey?"

"I think this is a record though…we're not even at school yet and it's kicked off." Arthur smiled even though it was hardly funny. The group was so supportive Lily almost forgot how much she was supposed to hate Potter and Black.

After a while the carriage relaxed a bit, Molly, Frank and Arthur chatted quietly about who the new defence against the dark arts teacher might be and Alice lay asleep with her head against Frank's shoulder. Lily was left to the lilting humour of Potter, Black (Sirius had re-joined his friends conversation so as to seem less conspicuous) and occasionally Remus. As arrogant and irritating as they could be, James seemed a bit more mature this year and even Black had stood up for her and done his best at soothing her afterwards, though maybe he just wanted an excuse to fight Snape, and she couldn't deny, they were both pretty funny, she didn't stop smiling the whole journey, despite her efforts.

They reached Hogsmeade station and typically it was pouring rain, Lily stayed behind with Remus to tidy their compartment whilst the others dashed off to claim their bags. He smiled kindly as he took the pumpkin pasty packets from her. She loved Remus. Not at all in a romantic way but she really did. He was a real friend, like a brother. The girls were amazing but they chatted so much and teased her in their friendly way, Remus was genuinely lovely all the time and contributed more thoughtfully, calmly to conversations than anyone she knew. The two were never apart in lessons, both top of their class, they worked impeccably together and he was actually hilarious, though not in Black's sarcastic, insulting humorous way, a more intellectual humour. She considered Remus for a moment, he had grown over the summer and his robes were too small, as always they were scruffy and a bit torn in places, his smile was kind and a little sad as it always seemed. He was so overshadowed by his best friends who slacked off the whole time but got top grades while also championing the Quidditch league, dominating the class comedy and being the centre of practically universal attention. People didn't notice him like they did Potter and Black but they loved him and trusted him, it was hard not to. The scars on his face and arms were numerous and darker, Lily ran her finger over a dark, slit shape across his cheekbone.

"Remus, you should see Madam Pomfrey!" she frowned worriedly

"I'll be seeing her for fresh wounds next week anyway." he replied somewhat bitterly.

"Lily you shouldn't worry about me. I'm fine."

"Well I just hope that's true."

Remus looked down, her green eyes weren't fiery as they always were when she was joking or arguing with Padfoot and Prongs, now they sparkled but softly, caringly. He smiled back.

"Come on, James will go spare if we don't get in their carriage!" Remus laughed. Lily rolled her eyes and he dropped the journey's litter into the bin then they walked side by side towards the threstral-drawn carriages which would take them to their beloved school, she slid her hand into his with a smile. The last few students were putting owl cages into the carriages and climbing in chattering to their friends.

"Come along you lot!" Rubeus Hagrid, a large lantern swinging precariously in his hand, was striding down the platform.

"Hagrid, you'll catch light to your beard if you aren't careful!" Lily smiled up at the gamekeeper.

"Ahh Miss Evans! Remus. Love'ly to 'ave you two back 'gain!" he grinned fondly behind an enormous black beard.

"You too Hagrid." Remus replied.

"I'd bet all the gold I 'ave that you two will make head boy an' girl next year. Anyway…hurry along now! Don't want you being late now do we!" he laughed, as if

Lily Evans and Remus Lupin could arrive late. As they wandered between carriages searching for their friends Remus turned to Lily:

"Lily, I hope you're ok, after Severus being stupid earlier? You know nothing he said was true?"

"Yeah thanks Remus, I know, I don't mind being a stupid, little mublood!" she smirked but Remus heard a the self-conscience edge to her voice.

"But you're not! No-one in their right mind could think you stupid. You're better at magic than any pure-blood I know by miles, cleverer than every other student here." Remus smiled shyly, even though he and Lily had been friends for four years he still felt nervous complementing her so emphatically.

"Thanks Remus." She beamed humbly but gratefully. "Oh here they are!" Lily by now had resigned to the fact that her friendship group had probably fused to Potter's for good, oh joy! Sirius and James were apologising flirtatiously to a crowd of younger girls who had hoped they'd share their carriages but when Lily clambered in James immediately ignored them and sat up in his seat by the door.

"Where have you two been?" he demanded. Remus was confused and a little worried to see James looked annoyed. Lily and Remus's friendship was so ridiculously innocent and platonic he didn't quite know what James could be thinking.

"We cleared up the carriage, had a quick chat with Hagrid then came to find you. Why?" Remus replied, puzzled.

"Nah, it's fine. Hello again Evans, did you see our greasy friend Snivellus on your travels?" Molly and Alice looked angrily at him for mentioning it.

"No, Potter I didn't." She arched her eyebrows.

"Oh, it's just he's got a rather lovely red mark on his face, I think Padfoot's dear cousin Bella may have gotten rather irritated with him snivelling around!" James grinned with delight.

"Well so has everyone else…" Lily snapped.

"And Bella gets irritated by everyone anyway, what a good pair." Sirius joked darkly.

"Precisely!"

And there it was. Their school, their life, their home: Hogwarts.


	3. Who says you can't go home?

The Great Hall. As huge and magnificent as ever towered around them. Lily looked all around her and smiled. It was good to be back. They sat down at the Gryffindor table and she ended up wedged between Peter and Remus as everyone began muttering in the way students always did at the start of the term. Comparing notes on the holidays, refreshing each other on missed gossip; who'd starting dating who, who had been made prefect or Quidditch captain or who had managed to burn off their eyebrows while attempting a rather ludicrous spell…obviously Xenophilius Lovegood. Sirius had managed to locate a packet of muggle rubber bands, which to him seemed fascinating, and which he and James were now flicking at the Slytherin table. When James saw her looking he hurriedly stopped and pulled a sensible, attentive expression but Lily had reached the end of her tether and she leant across to him so that only Sirius and Remus could have been in earshot and snapped at him.

"Look Potter, if all this pretending to be grown-up and sensible is for my benefit then you really needn't bother because a) it doesn't fool me and b) I wouldn't go out with you if you were the most sensible guy in this place because you are still arrogant and pathetic and while I may laugh at a few of your jokes I have no desire to be another one of your line up so just give it a rest!"

She almost felt bad when she saw his face, his confident smile drooped and he looked genuinely hurt. This was not helped by Sirius.

"Ouch! Bloody hell Evans, take that knot out of your wand before you really hurt him!"

"For once in your life Black, consider the apparent impossibility that some people don't always want your opinion on absolutely everything." He looked a bit taken aback. Remus smiled sympathetically at Lily, really she was just putting them in their place because they needed that sometimes, but rightly turned to comfort his best friends. She didn't know why she was being so snappy with everyone, the boys were no worse than usual but for some reason she was acting as if she hated the world…hopefully it was just the run in with Severus…hopefully this mood would pass because she did NOT like it.

"Sorry Prongs. That sounded painful." Remus patted James' shoulder.

"I don't get it! I mean..." James was cut off by Professor Dumbledore standing up and clearing his throat. As if by magic the whole hall of students fell silent and he began to speak.

"Well, I know you're all anxious to know which first years will be joining your houses this year so without further ado..."he gestured to a middle aged, strict looking professor at the back in ruby robes who was clutching an ancient, battered hat in her hand.

"Professor McGonagall, let the witch face the boggart, if you would!" Dumbledore smiled.

She opened the door and walked slowly up to the platform in front of the teachers table where a small, rickety stool stood. Behind her a huge crowd of students in plain black robes and hats were walking through the hall, some looking extremely excited and others downright terrified.

"Merlin's beard! They're tiny!" Sirius' voice carried and older students around the hall laughed. Some of the new students were in small groups, chattering and pointing out attributes they recognised from descriptions they'd heard while others walked alone looking nervous. James looked at them and smiled at a few but his brain was repeating Lily's scorn, what could he do to make her see he wasn't really an awful guy? But the sorting began immediately so he couldn't consult his friends.

"Robert Abbot?" McGonagall called and a tiny blonde boy was sorted into Hufflepuff.

Just three students in the professor called a name that made Sirius' blood boil and made almost the whole Gryffindor table turn to look nervously at him.

"Regulus Black?" she called and even she and Hagrid were glancing over to Sirius.

Virtually every student in the hall knew Sirius and they all turned to look at him when they heard the name. Sirius met several eyes in that moment, the piercing blue of the headmaster who nodded understandingly, James and Remus were both smiling nervously at him and James patted his arm and then Lily's sparkling green eyes met his and she smiled gently. The sorting hat lowered near his little brother's head and McGonagall almost hesitated, glancing quickly at poor Sirius who waited with baited breath, maybe, just maybe, hope wasn't lost, his brother could be different to the rest of his family…maybe…but the hat barely touched his head when it shouted to the room.

"Slytherin!" the table of green erupted in cheers and Lily shuddered when she saw the young boy who looked so much like his brother walk, grinning cockily, to join a group starring Bellatrix and Narcissa Black, Vincent Crabbe, Severus Snape and Rodolphus Lestrange. With his Sirus-esque strut and charisma it was like watching the most loyal and deserving Gryffindor celebrate his way to the Slytherins.

"Family reunion." growled Sirius, glowering darkly at them, he had always held the faintest hope that maybe his brother wouldn't end up with the rest of them, Slytherins and undoubtedly future death eaters. "Well that's it. Another one bites the dust. My family will be so proud of my baby brother." Sirius clenched his jaw and bit the inside of his cheek till he tasted blood. James tried his best, he slapped his friend on the back.

"It's alright mate! Now you're definitely a blood traitor!" he grinned hopefully.

Molly, Remus and Alice glared at him confused.

"James!" Lily snapped exasperated.

"You're unique as ever." Frank laughed trying to cheer the with all his friends smiling reassuringly and patting him he still sat in silence throughout the rest of the sorting. They recognised a few other names, Frank's little sister, Alice's cousin but they went to Ravenclaw, Molly's brother Fabian predictably joined the first years in Gryffindor. So it was soon time for Dumbledore to stand again and say:

"Well, to our new students welcome and to the rest welcome back and to everyone...tuck in!" he clapped and on all four tables the usual enormous feast appeared and everyone began to gorge.

"About time!" laughed Arthur. "I thought that bloody hat would never shut up!"

After excessive eating and a short, sweet speech from the headmaster everyone rose to go to their dormitories. As they left Lily got separated from Marlene and Mary and ended up walking with Remus and Sirius while James stalking moodily a few feet ahead with Pettigrew. When they reached the entrance hall, most people had already left and they heard a snipe from behind them.

"Yes, Regulus you're lucky to be in with us. Shame that blood traitor was too attached to his half-breed and mudblood friends to be in a worthwhile house. I should expect life's been so much more PURE since HE got kicked out of YOUR home." Bellatrix Black's deliberate, malicious sneers carried from the door of the great hall to the marauders a few metres away. The crowd of Slytherins everyone knew supported Lord Voldemort were waiting for the Gryffindors to come out to them: Bellatrix, Rodolphus Lestrange, Evan Rosier, Avery, Mulciber, Crabbe and now apparently Regulus.

"How can anyone hang out with such disgusting half breeds?" echoed Rodolphus's vicious jibes. "Wow, Reg, I'd kill myself if I was related to THAT. And his friends, they're a disgrace to the word MAGIC!" Sirius boiled over and turned round to walk towards them.

"Bella you know damn well I wasn't kicked out!"

James came racing back to them and caught hold of Sirius' arm to hold him a distance from her.

"No you ran away like the attention seeking little muggle lover you are and my dear Auntie did exactly the right thing and disowned you the second she could. Bet she'd been waiting for the chance since the day you were born." Bellatrix cackled.

Remus restrained him and told him to calm down but he wouldn't face away from them and neither would Lily. She glared at the Slytherin crowd, she was used to them referring to her as mudblood but they had said "half-breed", had Severus told them about Remus? And it was awful of them to call Sirius a blood traitor as they did.

"Ooh careful Bella, little Mrs Potter might do a bit of her muggle voodoo!" Crabbe grunted in laughter and Snape looked up sharply at the reference to Lily as a "Potter". Sirius glared at them.

"I really don't want to have to beat you up on the first day back."

"Watch it Black! I'm a prefect!" Rodolphus flashed his badge at them arrogantly.

"Sirius calm down, they really aren't worth it!" Remus pulled at his arm.

"Aww! Your little werewolf friend flying to calm everything down as always!" Bellatrix sneered.

Lupin let go of Sirius in shock at hearing his secret yelled so brazenly and Peter hurried in front to take over guarding Sirius, he couldn't be kicked out for assault on the first day. James spat his retort.

"Bella, I'm not kidding don't mess us around because we both know you're not up to taking us on, had a rather busy holiday I imagine? I hear the death eaters are recruiting, how'd your application turn out? " James took back his air of cockiness even though he didn't really feel it and Bella glared angrily and suspiciously.

"Look Potter, I don't like your tone, you may think that you're all that. But you're nothing! Just an arrogant quidditch captain, a fat idiot boy, the world's most pathetic werewolf, a mudblood who thinks she's better than everyone else and my dear cousin who charms the thick girls and yet betrays and disgraces his own pure blood line." Bellatrix looked vicious.

"Right enough threats now…" Sirius stepped forward but Peter and Remus held him back and before he or James could do anything, Lily had her wand out and pointed at the group of Slytherins.

"Bellatrix, I don't really want to waste my best magic on a group of pathetic dark arts lovers who put down others to make themselves feel good." Even the toughest of the Slytherin gang recoiled a little, they weren't stupid and they knew Lily certainly wasn't. "So I suggest a few things: never talk about Sirius as a traitor again just because he's has a sense of right and good, stop going on at Peter just because he doesn't retaliate, go pick on someone your own size. It is MY job and privilege to call Potter an arrogant idiot and my privilege alone, understood? Don't you dare speak about one of my best friends as pathetic or a half breed because you don't know the half of his life and Remus is the most intelligent and compassionate human on this earth. So finally, and I swear on this, if any of you call me or anyone else a mudblood ever again I will hex you so hard you won't understand up from down. Snape I don't like that you've made me say this twice today so, just get out of our lives. If any of you touch us or the rest of my friends again, you'll have me to answer to, understood?"

Rodolphus and Crabbe had seen Lily's magic before and without a word they ran towards the dungeons as fast as they could. Regulus stepped nervously behind Bellatrix who was laughing provokingly but remained quiet. Snape said almost sadly:

"What happened to you Lily?"

She felt a pang of sadness but she couldn't ignore that he wasn't the Severus she had known so her simple answer came like a knife.

"I outgrew you." Her voice was calm and cutting. With a neat flick of her wand a vibrant red flame shot out and chased them from the entrance hall always close enough to almost touch them but never catching. They ran yelling after Lestrange and Crabbe and Lily turned back to the boys. Peter was gazing with his mouth wide open, Remus was half smiling and half worried, James tried to look serious as he battled the urge to laugh and kiss Lily at the same time. Sirius' face was red with rage, his eyes were dark and cold and to Lily's surprise and distress, a little teary. He shrugged off Peter's grasp and stormed moodily away from them towards the Gryffindor tower.

"Shouldn't one of you go with him?" Lily asked Remus.

"No. It's Sirius!" Remus gave a simple response, as if the protocol were obvious. "He's angry and hurt and he's best left alone for a little while. We'll talk to him when we get up there and he'll go back to his usual charming front soon. Don't worry." Remus knew his friends so well.

"I wasn't worried." Lily spluttered a little, she was aware she wasn't really supposed to like Black and was on her pride. Remus smiled cheekily.

"You seemed pretty worried about all of us just now when you almost hexed the heads off Bellatrix, Regulus and Snape."

"Yeah...um...Lily, thank you! You defended me and that was really lovely, thank you!" Peter stuttered shyly.

"It's alright." She smiled back kindly. "What a crap evening for Sirius." Lily exclaimed as they walked quickly towards the common room before McGonagall came and found them. Professor McGonagall as it happened was standing silently just behind the Great Hall door watching the scene with a fusion of pity and amusement as the ease with which Evans finished the fight. They all looked pretty concerned and James, looking at Lily's face, wondered if she really did hate the marauders or if she was just fed up of him chasing her.

"I hope he's alright." James also looked genuinely worried that it made Lily wonder if she knew everything they did about what it all meant to Sirius and what made him so angry?


	4. My Beloved Monster

Sirius lay on his four poster and voices screamed unbearably round his head.

"Undoubtedly Slytherin!"

"thick, arrogant Black who is probably a death eater like the rest of his family!"

"Shame that blood traitor was too attached to his half-breed and mudblood friends to be in a worthwhile house"

"Your little werewolf friend flying to calm everything down as always."

"Look, you may think that you're all that. But you're nothing!"

Sirius hated the lot of them so much that a familiar ache stirred somewhere he couldn't locate. A pang which occurred when his friends or justice were in danger, only to him, it didn't feel as heroic as that. To him, it warned him that he needed to bite back the anger and keep control of himself because that ache…never ended well, that ache meant he was scared of himself and of loss. To him, there was nothing heroic, more selfish and cowardly. But it was Lily's words that seemed to ring most true and hurt him the most.

"Shut up Sirius! For once in your life consider some people don't always want your opinion!"

It's true he never really considered if people wanted him to talk or not, it didn't occur to him.

"a group of pathetic dark arts lovers who put down others to make themselves feel good"

The last quote from Lily he kept hearing not because she'd said it to or in fact about him but because it worried him, was that what he was like? Was he more like them than he thought? Sirius thought about the truth he'd almost forgotten. The truth behind the façade. He, Sirius Black, ladies man, cocky marauder, class clown, Gryffindor hero and Quidditch champion, behind the mask of charm and arrogance, hated himself. Why, Sirius thought, did he have to be so angry and dark? Every second he felt angry, no matter how noble the cause, he felt as if the evil in his family was seeping through his blood, turning him into a monster he couldn't control. He heard Evans' voice again.

"never talk about Sirius as a traitor again just because he's has a sense of doing the right and good"

A few hot tears spilt down Sirius' handsome face and he slapped them away furious with himself for revealing, even when alone, that he wasn't a simple class clown. Did he have a sense of good? He wasn't sure. Was he just as bad as the rest of his dark, death eater, muggle hating, pure blood obsessed, Slytherin family? Now he knew Regulus was beyond his reach, the sorting hat's voice echoed round and round until he almost screamed. Was it because he was like Regulus and the rest of his family that Lily got so frustrated with him? If he was like that he couldn't blame her! He had to do something. Several things in fact. He had to apologise to Lily, explain he recognised what he could be like and thank her for her patience and kindness and then...then, he had to sort out Bellatrix and the rest of her stupid death eater gang. They weren't getting away calling his friends mudblood and half-breeds, he would see to that. His thoughts were interrupted (probably just as well) by Remus, James and Peter coming upstairs.

"Hey, you alright now mate?" Peter smiled kindly at him.

"Look Padfoot, don't worry about Bellatrix and her cronies. We all know they're a bunch of idiots." Remus sat down on his bed and began sorting through his trunk.

Peter was quietly changing into his pyjamas in the corner and James lay at the end of Sirius' bed throwing a snitch in the air.

"Nah they don't bother me with all that blood traitor crap but if they think they'll get away with those snipes about Moony, Wormtail, you and Evans they are sorely mistaken." Sirius supressed a smile when he noticed Remus's anxious frown, he who always spotted the red rim around his friends eyes, angrily rubbed away tears.

"Sirius? Don't do anything stupid. Not this early into the term." Remus tried to make the mood lighter.

"Stupid? I don't do stupid things...anyway, fine, I won't do anything yet, but we'll work something out, soon." Sirius replied with a wink in James' direction.

James smiled but changed the subject.

"Anyway! To the more pressing matter, what the hell is happening with me and Lily?!" James was throwing and catching the snitch with more ferocity now.

"Lily and I..." Remus corrected quietly from the corner but James heard it very differently and he sat up angrily.

"WHAT? What about you and Lily?!"

"No...I was correcting your grammar, you said 'me and Lily' when it should technically be 'Lily and I'..." Lupin explained barely looking up from his book, he saw James staring at him confused "Grammar? Anyone? No…ok…" Remus finished with a smile.

"Moony shut up! Anyway what was up earlier?" he stood up.

"What when she ripped the crap out of you?" Sirius tried not to laugh. James began pacing.

"Yeah. What was all the "pretending to be grown up" and "arrogant and pathetic" and the "tried to be my hero" stuff about? Then she told me to give it a rest. I'm

just trying to be nice." James paced faster and tugged at his messy hair.

"Prongs, stop pacing you're freaking me out." Sirius plucked the old snitch from the bed and began playing with it.

"Look James, I'm sure if you just apologise to her and make her see that you can be a genuine, lovely guy she'll rethink what she said. Anyway she can't hate you!"

Remus smiled kindly.

"Why's that?" James raised his eyebrows.

"She was having a good time with all of us on the train up till Snape made a scene." Remus told him.

"And she stood up for you to my delightful family." Sirius grimaced.

"She's so lovely. Her eyes just make everyone feel okay again." Peter was so happy that the clever, pretty, popular Lily had stood up for him.

"Alright Wormtail...calm down." Sirius raised his eyebrows and laughed. James frowned.

"Ok, so I have to stop pretending to be sensible and just be me? I don't think that'll ever work." James sighed.

"Being you didn't seem to wash with Evans before." Sirius admitted, puzzled.

"Yeah but James has changed. He's a bit less crude and a bit more kind now." Remus got straight to the point.

"Pah!" Sirius snorted indignantly.

"He has!" Remus smiled proudly. Sirius, Peter and James raised their eyebrows at him. "Fine. Don't believe me. Who would ever listen to Remus."

"Well maybe I could try and be a nicer me without the full on being sensible because we all know it doesn't suit me. That's a plan." James grinned triumphantly.

"Sounds good to me. Just please, no more pretending to be interested in lessons, it scared me!" Remus laughed.

"I'm happy as long as you can still help me with our gob-smackingly hilarious jokes." Sirius asked.

"Definitely!" James smiled.

Nobody asked Peter's opinion which was just as well; he was lying in his bed fast asleep. James changed into his pyjamas, a chudley cannons shirt and shorts, put his glasses on the bed-side table, gave his hair one last ruffle and lay down, he closed his eyes thinking of Lily's sparkling eyes and radiant hair and subconsciously a huge smile appeared on his face. Remus and Sirius both noticed this and exchanged an amused expression before lying down in their own beds to sleep.

In a similar room just the other side of Gryffindor tower James Potter's name was flying around like a dragon on firewhisky. Molly and Marlene were actively attempting to change Lily's anti-potter attitude while Mary and Alice looked on in amusement and nodded in agreement.

"LILY! Listen to me! He's the most hilarious, charming and gorgeous guy in the whole damn school…" Molly began.

"…on par with Black obviously!" Alice interjected.

"Well yes anyway… nearly every girl here would die to have him fancy them, you're the only one he likes and has ever liked, he is working his arse off to make you see that he's not an idiot and you are completely rejecting him! Are you clinically insane?" Molly was sitting on Lily's bed looking exasperated.

"Molly, I think you're forgetting how much I hate him?" Lily answered.

"And I think you're forgetting how gorgeous he is." Mary laughed.

Lily rolled her eyes and flopped back onto her pillow in amused frustration.

"Yeah but Lily, why do you hate him? He's not as terrible as you think." Molly stared at her confused.

"Molly!" Lily cried. "The only person more arrogant than him in the whole world is Sirius who is..."

"Who is not as bad as he seems." Marlene defended.

"Who is also...gorgeous." Alice giggled without her eyes leaving the magazine.

"Ok…Alice, do I need to remind you of a sweet little someone named Frank!" Lily arched her eyebrows.

"I love Frank with all my heart and he knows that but you can't deny Potter and Black are complete heart throbs." Alice didn't look at all phased.

"Yes, but the issue is, they know that more than anyone!" Lily cried.

"Look, Lily, focus. In case you hadn't noticed, James has grown up considerably over the summer, he's not really all that arrogant or annoying anymore but he IS sweet, clever, popular, talented, handsome, he makes you laugh and he adores you." Molly grabbed Lily's shoulders and shook her. "Stop being so stubborn, wake up and smell the butterbeer. The quidditch captain, charming, loveable heartthrob and the feisty, beautiful, popular genius. You guys are a match made in heaven."

"Picture it…Lily and James, future head boy and girl, future most loved couple of 1978, future Mr and Mrs Potter!" Alice screeched with laughter and the other three cackled until Lily was bordering on genuine annoyance.

"I'm going to bed." she pulled her covers up to her shoulders forcing Molly to jump up and climb into her own bed.

"Fine. But we're not letting this go. You can't hate him forever." Molly put out the lights and lay down.

"Watch me."

Marlene, Mary, Alice and Molly exchanged amused glances.


	5. The Butcher and the Vegan

The next morning Lily woke early and went to the window as she always did on the first morning back. "Hogwarts ground lay cold and frosty, the sky was grey and Lily instantly decided this was going to be a very slow first day. The previous night's conversation jumped into her head and she became confused and frustrated. It was still early so she picked up her towel and headed off to the bathrooms before they got crowded, a shower was certain to clear her head of all this Potter nonsense. To Lily's amazement it almost worked. She had a long, hot shower and pulled her uniform on, she tugged a brush through her damp, thick hair and gathering her pyjamas and towel up went to leave the bathroom.  
She was just thinking about what her timetable might be like this year when she walked straight out of the girls bathroom and straight into James Potter who was leaving the boy's showers, his hair also wet and messier than ever.

""Woah! Sorry Evans. Are you ok? My glasses are kind of steamed up from the shower. I'm really sorry." He picked up her hairbrush and towel, handed them to her and smiled apologetically. It was weird, he wasn't cocky or immature now, he was obviously still confident and charming but in a less irritating way. Wait. No! Oh dear. She hadn't replied.

"It's fine Potter. Don't worry."

James looked at Lily carefully. Her hair was so thick and red it looked amazing even when it was tangled.

"Anyway, who do you reckon they'll employ for defence against the dark arts this year?"

"Oh, that's a good question. I've no idea. Who made head girl and boy?" Lily decided to resign to small talk, if she tried not to focus it would be like talking to Molly or Remus.

"Shacklebolt and Amelia Bones." James replied.

"Oh that's good. I heard you got Quidditch captain?" Lily was testing him, now, she was certain he was going to relapse into his old ways and boast until his eyeballs exploded.

"Yeah that should be fun. Maybe this year you'll let me teach you to fly?" he ruffled his hair and smiled charmingly.

"We'll see." she was almost about to start laughing when from around the corner came Marlene and Alice with their own towels.

"Oh...hi you two..." Alice's grin stretched across her entire face till it almost reached her ears. Marlene tried in vain to disguise a laugh and was almost bursting when the three remaining marauders appeared walking towards them. "Remus looked from Lily to James and back again then smiled sweetly. Sirius smirked and raised his eyebrows at James. Oh brilliant. This couldn't get any better.  
"Anyway, bye Lily." James smiled and walked off with his friends, smacking Sirius on the head as he went.

"So Lily...how's James?" Alice wiggled her eyebrows so vigorously it was a wonder they didn't vanish into her fringe. They were sat at the Gryffindor table, Lily read the Daily Prophet, Alice sipped coffee and Molly nibbled blearily at some fruity cereal.

"Well you two certainly didn't waste any time making me want to hex your heads off." Lily glared at them. As she said this Frank Longbottom came and sat at their table.

"Lily, we all know you've been saying that since first year." He smirked and began piling bacon onto his plate.

"But Lil you should've seen his face when we sat in their carriage." Molly raised her own eyebrows causing soft lines to wrinkle on her pale forehead.

"Oh give the guy a break you lot, he can't help liking Lily and he's not a bad guy, in fact I love James Potter, he's a right good laugh." Frank interjected.

"Well you date him then because I would rather live at the bottom of the Black Lake!" Lily snapped. Molly smirked and raised her eyebrows.

"Look, I assure you all, whatever you say my opinion of James Potter has not changed one bit." Lily replied.

"So he's still liable to cause feinting with a smile/span?" Molly suggested.

"Uh oh, do I have competition?" Arthur Weasley sat down beside Molly and poured himself a large cup of coffee. Molly blushed and kissed his cheek sweetly.

"No, James Potter is still an irritating little worm with the brain cells of a monkey, the charm of a rat and a head the size of the astronomy tower! And I will never think of him as anything other than a self-obsessed, arrogant, immature little toerag!" Lily

"Oh come on Evans that's a little harsh." James Potter's deep, confident voice sounded behind Lily and she blushed, glaring at her friends for not warning her he was there. He took a seat next to Lily throwing her his most charming of grins. Stupid git really was untouchable.

"Yeah I mean it's all true but he doesn't like to hear it." Sirius Black threw himself down opposite Arthur and began shovelling down scrambled eggs. A group of fourth years sitting a few feet away were virtually drooling at the sight of Sirius who winked sending half the table into fits of blushing and giggles.

"Ahh...it's good to be back!" He beamed. At that moment Remus arrived and sat down next to Arthur.

"Padfoot you realise you'll have to grow out of your constant flirting one day?" he laughed.

"Moony you realise you'll have to shut up one day." Sirius flicked half a fried mushroom across the table.

"Sirius, we all love your sophisticated comebacks." Marlene smiled sarcastically.

"Yeah I know you do, you love everything about me McKinnon!" Sirius smirked flirtatiously and ducked to dodge the slice of toast she'd thrown.

"Black are you causing trouble already?" Professor Minerva McGonagall, who was deputy headmistress and head of Gryffindor stood beside the table holding huge bundles of timetables and glared down at the smear of butter the flying toast had left on her robe. It was too early in the term to actually punish anyone.

"Professor, when have I, the honourable, sensible Sirius Orion Black ever been known to cause trouble? I am rather offended by what you are insinuating!" Sirius's look of shock, innocence and hurt was so fake that the entire table erupted into raucous laughter, Lily giggled in spite of herself and McGonagall arched her eyebrows in reproachful way while the corners of her mouth couldn't help but twitch.

"Oh it's going to be a long term! Anyway moving on Longbottom and Weasley make your way to the divination tower, Evans, Lupin, Mcdonald, Prewett and Fortescue you're all due in Ancient Runes for first lesson, then second lesson poor Professor Kettleburn is expecting Black, McKinnon, Pettigrew and Potter to join you all for Care of Magical Creatures with the Slytherins…"

A groan echoed round the group; no lessons with the Slytherins were ever enjoyable.

"I'm saying nothing." McGonagall smiled at their reaction and handed round the remaining group immediately began analysing their timetables.

"I swear, James you have more free periods than you have lessons." Remus gazed confused at his friend's timetable, Lily looked across.

"So do Marlene and Black!"

"I think McGonagall is fairly determined to win the quidditch cup this year." James laughed.

"Are you serious?!" Alice was staring at Molly.

"No I believe that's me. Serious? Sirius? HA! I'm hilarious." Sirius couldn't help himself and didn't care when Alice chucked a toast crust at him, he laughed.

"Will people stop with the toast? If you don't want it just put it in the bin!"

"We have what?" Lily questioned Molly.

"Double potions, with the SLYTHERINS last thing on a FRIDAY!" Alice was beside herself with distress.

"Oh for Merlin's sake! Really?" James threw his fork down and screwed up his face in frustration.

"Well that might just be enough of a reason to throw myself off the astronomy tower!" Sirius stabbed viciously at a piece of scrambled egg.

"Do the world a favour." Marlene smirked quietly and he kicked her gently under the table.

"Bloody hell Lily! You realise you have absolutely NO free lessons?" Arthur handed her back her timetable and looked in awe.

"No neither does Remus." Frank sighed. "Good luck to you two smiled at Remus across the table, they'd be fine, everyone knew that. The conversation continued like this: with many exchanges about lessons they all headed back to the common room, some to collect their bags, James ran up to the dormitory and grabbed his broom, he didn't intend to waste his precious free hour. Sirius, Marlene and Peter followed suit and the four made their way down to the quidditch pitch in the cold morning air.


	6. Rage Like Thunder

When James and Peter caught up with their friends, walking down the winding path to the clearing near the forbidden forest, Sirius and Marlene were still arguing about who had missed the bludger during practise, James laughed and yelled to Remus.

"Oi Moony! Wait up."

Sirius smirked to himself, he wondered if James' new found enthusiasm for walking to lessons might have something to do with the fact that Remus was walking with Evans. All the same he and Peter jogged along with James as they approached Moony.

"Alright mate? How was runes?" Sirius punched Remus' arm and Lupin looked oddly at him, he didn't understand the friendly punching thing.

"It was really interesting actually." Remus went to open his book enthusiastically but he saw Sirius's face and instantly slammed it shut again, what was the point?

But Peter was likely to listen while he explained so he grabbed him and began burbling knowledge at him, Peter was happy to oblige, he liked helping with the little

things he could. Lily turned around from talking to Molly.

"Potter, Black." she nodded and smiled.

"Evans." Sirius winked and grinned then pulled out a liquorice wand and began chewing as he walked.

"So how was ancient runes Lily?" James smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Really good, we got set two roles of parchment for homework though!" At this moment a voice shouted.

"Oi Potter! Alright mate? How was summer?"

"Too popular for my own good!" James laughed and bounded off to chat with a few other sixth year guys. Molly and Marlene had "tactfully" wandered off with Alice so Sirius stayed with Lily.

"Nice." She smirked sarcastically.

"What?" he mumbled through a mouthful.

"You chew with your mouth open…it's disgusting."

"Oh…sorry, you want some?" He gestured the saliva drench liquorice close to her face and laughed as she squirmed.

"Umm Evans?" he smiled gingerly.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"Look, I realised last night that if I can be anything like my family then you absolutely have a right to hate me and I thought I'd apologise in case I've ever been like any of the stupid, dark, death eater, pure blood obsessed Slytherin idiots I'm related to. I sometimes just…" Sirius winced and struggled on how to express it "…I don't know…I feel so so angry and I just don't know what to do about it. When somebody insults Remus or anyone or makes me out to be just like my family it just…confirms what I hate about myself and what I'm so terrified of. So I'm really sorry for being so annoying and also thank you so much for being patient and kind when I don't really deserve it. So yeah, just thanks for not killing me and sorry for being a bit of a dick." He frowned, worried what she might say.

"Oh Sirius!" she beamed sweetly at him. "Look you are nothing like your family at all, ok? You're a good person Black, a sweet, good, kind person and you are the most fiercely loyal friend I've ever known. A truly deserving Gryffindor and good person… hiding under a complete arrogant tosser." she laughed. "You're lovely in your own way and I know that, you don't need to apologise."

"Oh shucks Evans! You'll make me blush. Thanks though. " Sirius laughed and chucked his arm around her jokily and to his amazement...she didn't shrug him off. She just laughed on in a friendly way, as if he were Molly, Alice or Remus. Peter and Remus walked over to them. Remus looked astonished then he chuckled.

"Padfoot, if Prongs comes over you will have that arm ripped off and roasted over a spit you realise?"

Sirius laughed and Lily looked a little annoyed.

"It's really nothing to do with Potter!" she declared.

When the rest of the class arrived at the clearing in front of the forest two groups immediately formed. The class subconsciously self-segregated into Gryffindors and Slytherins, standing metres away from each other and glaring viciously. Professor Kettleburn arrived and climbed onto a tree stump to address the students.

"Welcome back boys and girls I hope you enjoyed your break and have come back nice and refreshed and eager to start a whole new year of hard work."

A mixture of groans and laughs went round the clearing.

"Well it was worth a shot." Kettleburn smiled. "Now first things first, you are now all almost of age and 6th year NEWT students so we're going to stop being immature.

Don't think I didn't notice this little division. How do you expect to work together if you won't even stand together? Come on now, let's integrate people."

But both groups remained persistently where they were.

"I'm not sure why Kettleburn's even trying this." Remus sighed wearily to Lily. Sirius overheard.

"Oh Remus, don't you want to be BFFs with our idiotic, greasy death eaters pals? Why ever not?" his voice saturated in sarcasm he arched his dark eyebrows and with a subtle flick of his wand silently sent a small fleck of red light at a short, blonde Slytherin who promptly started scratching his entire body like crazy. Both James and Marlene joined him in an eruption of raucous laughter and when other Gryffindor's caught on they began applauding. Even Lily couldn't help but smile and Remus smirked then questioned:

"Where did you learn to do non-verbal spells? We haven't done those in charms yet. And you didn't pay attention for OWL charms anyway."

Sirius laughed even harder but to his misfortune Kettleburn noticed.

"Well Mr Black considering you find this so entertaining I'm sure you'd be happy to form our first bond?"

In a blink the grin dropped from Sirius' face and every Gryffindor fell silent.

"Well come on up then. Stand just here at the front, that's it. Now let's see then...Mr Snape maybe? Yes Severus come up here a minute, don't be shy." Kettleburn beckoned him merrily, blissfully unaware of what he was doing. People in the crowd exchanged excited or worried glances as Severus stepped up to the back edge of the clearing and stood dead opposite Sirius. As the class watched the two enemies eyes meet the tension built. They stared angrily at each other and Sirius' hands bunched into tight fists.

"Oh my god..." Alice and Molly clutched hands.

"This is not going to end well...James do something!" Remus stared in panic.

"Do what? We can't help Padfoot now. Kettleburn has no idea what he's doing." James' face was uncharacteristically concerned and he was tugging at his hair in frustration. The tension was almost unbearable. Lily's mind froze. Her cheeks were pale and her eyes weren't leaving Sirius and Snape.

"Now, Black you are going to say one thing you like most about Mr Snape and then Severus you're going to do the same then we'll have the next pair up...ok?"

Sirius and Severus stood staring at each other, their faces dead pan and their jaws tightly clenched. Remus and James moved forward their eyes wide and worried. The whole of Gryffindor were anxiously watching for their hero's reaction. Without realising what she was doing Lily stepped right forward in front of the Gryffindor crowd and gazed, her face panic stricken, she didn't even flinch when from behind her James took her hand, she clutched it tightly and with her other hand drew her wand holding it ready at her side for comfort.

"Go on then Mr Black. Start us off, no jokes, no swearing, no violence...what do you like most about Severus?"

Sirius' face fell into an angry, dark look the Gryffindors associated with people talking about his family or run-ins with Bellatrix. The whole class waited with baited breath for his reaction, each house switching between glaring at the opposition and gawping at the scene in front of them. A few seconds passed and just as Sirius opened his mouth and his hand moved to his wand pocket, Lily turned her wand arm ever so slightly and following a huge crash a hedge just behind Kettleburn promptly caught fire and the group screamed and began shouting and moving around the clearing. Sirius took his chance and darted back to his group. James slapped him on the back and the worry on his face dissolved as he launched himself towards Marlene for an overdramatic hug. Other Gryffindors began to chatter loudly about the events they had stood by herself in the same spot she had been in and stared at the floor, as she looked up she caught Severus's eye, he saw her wand hanging by her side and her other hand attached to James' and he shook his head slightly, he looked so sad, then a few Slytherins moved to him and he shot her one last angry glance before turning his attention from her. She blinked and let out the breath she realised she'd been holding for several moments. James squeezed her hand but she ignored him, she stowed her wand away and rubbed her face slightly then breathed deeply, she glanced once more at Severus and then turned to her friends. James moved his hand to her lower back, he leaned in and muttered through her hair:

"I assume Padfoot's not the only one who can do non-verbal hexes then?" he raised his eyebrows and smiled at her, a genuine smile rather than his usual cocky smirk.

"Well I didn't want to see how that could have ended." she shrugged.

"Well, thank you. That was awesome and you may have just saved my best friend from going to prison for murder." He gave her one final, dramatic smile and bounded back to the Marauders. Molly and Alice appeared on either side of Lily and linked arms.

"Lily, that was nicely done." Molly smiled and winked.

"Maybe it wasn't as subtle as I'd intended." Lily smiled.

Professor Kettleburn appeared looking very dishevelled and snappily dismissed the class before bustling back to tend what was now a small forest fire.

"Bonus! Free lesson." James swung his bag on his shoulder and began sauntering towards the castle.

"Yeah because you don't already have like eight of those a week." Remus answered sarcastically.

"Ahh Moony, my friend, you can never have too many free hours!" Sirius grinned, chucked his arm around Marlene and strutted up the winding path to the school.


	7. True Colours

The rest of the day's lessons were spent explaining what was expected of them as sixth years so when the Marauders joined Lily at the dinner table Sirius exclaimed:

"If one more person tells me I need to be start 'acting my age' I will be forced to chuck them in the black lake." he sat down opposite Lily and piled obscene quantities of potatoes onto his plate.

"You know you could do something radical and actually do it! Then you could almost pass for a ten year old..." Remus trailed off, Sirius was staring right past him, grinning and winking at a group of fifth year Ravenclaws. Remus laughed "No I take that back, there is not a ten year old in the world with an attention span as short as..." Sirius wasn't taking the blindest bit of notice. Remus turned to James and Lily. "He literally amazes me."

Lily playfully flicked a beef strip at Sirius' face.

"Oi." he picked it up and threw it back.

"Welcome back mate." James smirked.

"Assume you've recovered from your run in with Snape then Black?" Marlene grinned as she arrived with the rest.

"Yeah, we heard Lily saved you from almost attacking him." Arthur winked as he sat down next to Remus.

"I wouldn't have attacked him...just..." Sirius smiled uneasily.

"Hexed his head off?" Remus suggested

"Broken his nose?" Frank laughed.

"Wedgied him till his trousers greeted his greasy hairline?" James interjected creatively.

"Made him eat vomit flavoured Bertie Botts for eternity?" Arthur raised his eyebrows.

"Chucked him off the astronomy tower?" Peter piped up eagerly.

"Turned his legs to Jelly?" Mary smiled.

"Beheaded him with the sword of gryffindor?" Marlene winked.

"Locked him in a vanishing cabinet?" This was rather out of character for Molly.

"Or just dropped kicked him through a quidditch post?" Lily finished.

Sirius threw back his head and laughed until his eyes watered.

"Well, looks like Sniv doesn't want a run in with you lot then? You're so violent!" He grinned.

Lily laughed along with the rest but she didn't really feel like joking about Severus, it made her feel…weird. She finished her meal quickly and left the hall by herself. As she walked along the virtually deserted corridors she finally had time alone to think. What had she done? Was that it? She'd been best friends with Severus since she was 10 years old, he had introduced her to this world and helped her come to terms with what she was. What he'd said last year could've just been how angry he was at Potter. Maybe she should've forgiven him. He might have come to apologise that day on the train. Maybe she'd been too harsh on him this year. But she knew it wasn't her fault. Lily didn't want to believe Snape had turned to the dark side but there were several things she couldn't explain. He had always known shocking amounts about the dark arts even in their first year and over the years he'd become more hateful and difficult to reach. This year she'd hardly seen him without Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Crabbe, Goyle, Yaxely and Dolohov and that couldn't be good. They were the crowd people had started to gossip about and James and Sirius seemed sure they were bound to be death eaters. And since last year...something in Sev's face wasn't quite right, his eyes were a little too dark and...different. She wanted to tell her friends she knew he wasn't a death eater and that he was still the good person she had always known, just angry with James, but she didn't believe that really, no matter how much she wanted to deny it she knew he had changed, he wasn't the Severus she knew, and she didn't like what it seemed he'd become. Lily had reached the Gryffindor common room by now and was relieved to find it completely empty, she collapsed onto the worn, squashy sofa and lay her head in her lap. Before she realised and before she could stop it she felt tears falling thick and fast into her lap and hair. It was all her fault. What happened to Severus. She pushed him away and she virtually forced him into the arms of the death eater gang, if she hadn't been so angry about the name he called her she'd still be his friend and he wouldn't have joined Bellatrix's crowd. Lily crouched in a little ball on the sofa and sobbed, what had she done to Severus?

A rough, warm hand slid across her back and someone sat heavily on the sofa beside her.

"Piss off Potter." she mumbled angrily through her arms and hair.

"Evans, you should really learn it's not just Prongs that thinks the world of you."

Lily turned her head and found Sirius smiling sadly at her. He brushed a strand of her thick, long hair behind her ear and continued.

"Now I might not fancy you like James does, although that's only because he'd probably slit my throat if I did..."

"Get to the point Black."

"Umm yeah…well contrary to popular belief I do actually have consideration for people besides myself so, what's up?"

"Nothing." Lily fumbled with a loose thread on her cardigan.

Sirius threw back his head and laughed.

"Wow Evans! You seriously believe I'm that stupid? Two advantages in have on Prongs: one, I know when girls are upset, it's like a gift! And two I am really good at lying. The first is why I knew you would be here and the second is how I got here without James."

"I don't think you're stupid Black." she smiled.

"So tell me what's up then." he leaned back on the sofa and put his arm protectively round her shoulders." Come on I owe you! You saved me a lifetime's worth of detention earlier." She paused and then.

"Sirius, do you think it's my fault Severus went bad?"

"Evans? That's not what you really believe is it?" he sat forward, his face lined in a frown.

"If I hadn't fallen out with him he wouldn't be a death eater now. End of story."

"No. No Lily that's not the end of story. You fell out with him because he was already dark, not the other way around. Come on, he knew more about the Dark Arts in our first year than most seventh years, hell more than most aurors ever do! He finally snapped last year and showed you that he's exactly like the rest of them and you were completely right to be pissed at him. Even if you'd stayed his friend forever I would bet my broomstick he would've turned to the Dark side anyway."

"But it's not his fault! It only happened because of the people his family were involved with. I could've saved him." she viciously pulled the thread from her cardigan, twisting it violently between her fingers in frustration.

"No, you couldn't, Evans you can't save everyone! It's not down to the people you're with, it's the person you were inside to begin with. My entire family and all their friends are muggle hating, Dark Arts worshipping Voldemort followers. I hate the Dark Arts, my best friends are Muggle borns, werewolves and half bloods and

I just ran away from home and got myself disowned." He grinned from ear to ear.

"Black, don't you sympathise with Severus a bit? I mean it must of been difficult to defy your own family, what if he wasn't strong enough to do it?"

"Then, he wasn't strong enough to do the right thing and he believes Voldemort is the answer. And none of that was your fault, do you hear me Evans? Not a single bit was your fault, you tried to help him, he was a lost case and it's all down to the person he is not the person you are because, Merlin, if you weren't enough to keep him on the good side then I don't know what would've been ." Sirius hugged her tight.

"Black, you realise I don't hate you. And I think you were really brave and strong to fight against absolutely everything you were trained to believe."

"Well thanks Evans. And if you like I'll even lay off Snivellus. Unless he starts it of course in which case it's each wand for themselves." Sirius smirked.

"Fine, deal."

"Yep, Prongs and I will try and behave better in future if you promise to stop thinking the fact that Snape's a massive prick is your fault!" He laughed.

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Now is that being nice to him?"

"Let us make one thing clear, I never said we would be nice to or about him, I just said we'd try and start on him less."

They both laughed.

"Now Evans, before Moony and Prongs turn up I would like to discuss something with you."

"What do you want now Black?"

"Absolutely nothing! Our relationship has blossomed beautifully this last couple of days and you are my new little sister." Lily raised her eyebrows "Well I want you to know that James isn't as annoying as you think but I personally don't want anything from you." he winked and squeezed her shoulder.

"What is everyone's obsession with me and Potter? I swear the world's gone Potter mad! He's acting all sensible and mature and well NOT POTTER, Remus tried to persuade me he's a nice guy on the train, my parents love him, even the bloody Slytherins called me Mrs Potter and the girls are virtually planning our wedding. What is everyone's problem?"

"We don't have a problem we just all know how happy you would make each other."

"Padfoot that's a bit emotional isn't it? Don't hurt yourself!" she laughed.

"You called me Padfoot." Sirius smiled and his eyes glistened softly.

"Oh…so I did! Well you called me Lily earlier."

"It was nice, you calling me Padfoot, you'd make a brilliant Marauder you know." Sirius winked.

"Hmm...I think I've got a few too many brain cells." Lily laughed.

"Hey, Marauders aren't all thick Evans! But SIRIUSly..." Lily groaned at the appalling pun. "...sorry anyway Prongs really likes you and as much as I know he was a bit of an arrogant tosser before and occasionally still acts like that but I'll tell you first hand, he grew up terrifying amounts in the last year. I think he's taken it into his head that he wants to fight Voldemort and that if he wants to be an auror he needs to think a little more with his head. So he honestly is a good, nice guy and he only wants to make you happy, he's funny as well and I doubt he'd ever upset you. In fact I know he'd hate himself if he ever hurt you. Come on, you don't really have that much reason to hate him do you?"

Lily looked at her feet unsurely but she was saved from answering by the arrival of Remus.

"Hey..." he looked from Lily to Sirius and raised his eyebrows. "Lily are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine, thanks Remus." she smiled kindly.

"Oh right…I'll just try my very best and be all kind and understanding and then you just swoosh in and take the credit Moony mate, it's fine." Sirius waved his arms dramatically and Remus laughed and sat down the other side of Lily.

"Shut up Padfoot. Lily what was up?"

"No, it's fine, actually Black did a surprisingly good job of helping." She smirked.

Sirius puffed his chest up proudly.

"Yeah. See? I can be nice!"

"Oh yeah? You could always try it sometimes then!" Remus laughed.

"Thanks guys." Lily rubbed her face clean of tear streaks and smiled.

"Anyway the more pressing issue, Moony to fill you in I am trying to persuade Miss Evans that Prongs for his part isn't always the world's second most massive tosser (second only to me of course) and that it might be worth hearing what he's got to say."

"Well as appallingly as Padfoot put it, he's right Lily. James is much better than he used to be, you two would be good together. But obviously it's completely your decision."

"Well if he will stop trying so hard then he might be able to win me over by being genuine and you can tell him that!" her tone told the boys that this was the end of the conversation and that was that. When everyone else arrived Lily laughed to see Sirius go immediately back to his usual, non-emotional, Marauder self.

"Oi, Padfoot, Moony where the hell did you two vanish to?" James arrived loudly into the common room.

"We vanished to here mate where does it look like?" shrugged Sirius as he turfed a group of first years off the second sofa by the fire to make room for his friends.

Frank sat in one of the arm chairs and Alice sat on his lap letting her slender legs drape over the arm rest. Peter perched in the spare armchair and stared at the fire while Arthur took the other end of James' sofa and Molly leaned lovingly against his legs. James glanced at Lily, Sirius and Remus and looked puzzled.

"So what were you lot doing all this time?" he raised his eyebrows somewhat irritably at his friends.

"Just...chatting." Remus answered diplomatically.

"Yeah, nice girly catch up. I was giving Evans hair tips." Sirius laughed.

"Whatever. Anyway, I was just chatting with our dear head boy Kingsley and he said he and Amelia Bones are throwing a party for Amos Diggory's 18th on Saturday and did we want to go?" James slung his legs carelessly over the arm of the sofa and poked Sirius' chiselled jaw with his toe.

"Eww, Prongs get your feet off my beautiful face. Anyway yeah I'll never turn down a party." Sirius smacked James' leg off him and leaned back casually into the sofa cushions, Marlene balanced on the arm and Mary settled down by the fire to start the homework she already felt behind with.

"Oh joy, we get to experience the thrills of watching a drunken Padfoot try and hit on with any poor, unsuspecting female that has the misfortune to cross his path." Marlene laughed.

"He'd have to find a girl he hasn't already hit on." Frank pitched in.

"Shut your faces. Evans? Up for a party Saturday?" Sirius grinned at his friend's insult.

"Well with the promise of watching you try and make so many poor girls fall in love with you, I wouldn't miss it." she smiled.

James stared in confusion between Lily and Sirius. They were smiling and laughing like old friends, how the hell could that have happened and Lily still wouldn't give him the bloody time of day. James remained quiet for a while and contemplated the terrifying notion that Lily liked someone else, even worse that it could be Remus or even Sirius. As the boys made their way up the stairs to their dormitory James began bouncing ideas off his friends.

"So on Saturday, do you think I should try and just ignore Lily, play it cool?"

"Well actually you could try talking to her, explain in person that you've changed and if you don't overdo it you might even convince her." Remus smiled and folded his tattered robes into his trunk.

"Yeah, I'd say that what's been missing for the last 6 years could be available on Saturday." Sirius' friends looked at him. "Come on, booze and clouded judgement."

Sirius dodged neatly as James' potions book narrowly missed his head.


	8. Into The Open Air

The sixth year Gryffindors all agreed that their first week back had dragged as they walked reluctantly towards the dungeon on Friday.

"And potions with the Snakes is going to make it feel a hell of a lot longer." Sirius groaned and glared towards the usual crowd of Slytherins.

James smiled slyly at his best friend and muttered:

"Well if all goes well today at least Snape's going to receive a small slap to the little death eater face."

Remus overheard, raised his eyes suspiciously and questioned:

"I'm guessing from that look you're planning to upset Severus with some ridiculously outlandish bid for Lily's attention meaning you are not sticking to the genuine, calmed version of James we suggested?"

"Well, Moony mate, what can I say? I guess sweet and simple's not really my thing, I'm taking a break today to try and make Evans realise she cares then after this one Potter-style gesture I shall return to the aforementioned 'nice but not fake guy' plan, happy?" James grinned defiantly and Remus sighed at the lost cause.

Professor Slughorn beamed with delight as his favourite group entered the gloomy classroom. Pettigrew was a lovely lad and bright when he believed in himself. Little Alice Fortescue was sharp, his newest club member, Molly Prewett was a formidable witch beneath the kindness, Charity Burbage worked so hard he knew she'd do well and Mary was such a sweet girl. McKinnon was a girl he could see going far, witty and a fierce Quidditch player, with her came Sirius Black whom Slughorn adored not for his natural intelligence but for his charm and sharp humour, Horace could spot promise from a Quidditch pitch away and Sirius had the sparkle, such a damn shame he wasn't in Slytherin. James Potter was another clever lad but again Slughorn was more excited by the charisma and Quidditch skills. That was why he'd agreed to let him try this trick for young Lily's affections. What a good match that would be! James Potter and Lily Evans the clever, talented, charming couple could be the crown jewels to his ultimate collection. Ahh, there they were...Remus Lupin and Lily Evans, his absolute diamonds. Remus was so sweet and hardworking, such a pity about his "furry little problem" as Horace had, to his amusement, so often heard the boys refer to it. And Lily Evans, the Professor did not know where to start. Horace's smile stretched when the pair entered, threatening to rip his face in two with happiness.

"Well well. haven't you all blossomed this summer! Welcome back everybody, I hope you all had pleasant holidays and I am so happy to see so many of you back in my classroom for your NEWT years." he smiled merrily "Anyway let's get a start going, Fortescue, Pettigrew, hand out the textbooks please. Now today everyone we are going to be attempting to brew Draught of Living Death which is a highly finicky little potion, disastrous if it goes wrong SO, everyone you have one hour, let's see you open your books and have a crack!" he snapped his fingers and cupboards all along the dungeons flew open to reveal the correct ingredients.

In the first twenty minutes Slughorn had tended a dreadful potion resembling black play-dough and had to extinguish a fire caused by an upturned cauldron so he was rather looking forward to the Gryffindor prank. While Lily was happily distracted helping Peter correct his brew, James, Sirius and Remus crouched behind a desk arguing in whispers.

"Prongs, mate you realise if this goes wrong, Lily might just think I'm a total arse as well as you?" Sirius frowned.

"Or if we actually consider our priorities logically, if it goes wrong YOU COULD DIE!" Remus snapped.

"Shh! Keep your voice down Moony. Anyway don't be a thick I'm not actually going to take the bloody potion. It was brewed by Padfoot for Christ's sake I might end up with two heads!" he was interrupted by an "oi!" from Sirius but he continued "I'm just going to collapse and pretend to be dying while Sirius fake panics and tells everyone I tried his draught. And when I'm on my figurative death-bed we'll see how much Evans really hates me." James smiled proudly at his genius plan.

"Yeah and if she doesn't hate you now she certainly will once you fake die just to wind her up!" Remus sighed infuriated.

"Nah she'll be too relieved I'm not really dead after the emotional ordeal." James winked and stood up, he signalled a warning to Slughorn across the room and grinned to his friends. "Alright, boys, Showtime!"

He picked up the vile of the potion and pressed it convincingly to his lips then he stood for a moment before collapsing heavily to the floor. The bottle smashed and Sirius leapt into action as planned.

"Oh SHIT! Sir sir SIR! James just tried some of my potion and I think something went wrong because he's ACTUALLY not breathing!" Sirius jumped around in fake panic.

"Don't worry Mr Black I'm sure he's just reacting as the potion is supposed to make him look." as rehearsed the Professor walked to James' side and mock examined him, he then inspected the potion and pulled a woeful face "Oh my, oh dear! Yes we may have a real problem here, quick Remus run and fetch Madam Pomfrey and tell her we require urgent assistance."

Remus rolled his eyes subtly at Sirius and ran from the room, in reality stopping just outside the door. In that time the class had gathered around James and Sirius' desk to witness the scene. Sirius was kneeling dramatically at James' side while Alice, Molly, Peter and several other Gryffindors all in on the act reacted with the emotion and panic appropriate. Severus and the Slytherins watched with a mixture of uncertain pleasure and slight fear from a distance and Lily herself went pale and silent. She wasn't sure what to do. Surely this couldn't be happening. She'd been so impressed by Potter this week, he hadn't asked her out once and he'd almost become bearable to be around. It couldn't happen that now when she finally couldn't deny she found him fun and sweet as well as irritating, he was dying before her eyes. Completely ignoring the crowd around her she fell to the cold floor on the opposite side of Potter to Sirius and looked to her Professor's concerned face.

"No...Potter...no" she muttered, her skin turning even paler, her eyebrows knitting into an emotional frown and her face taking a panic stricken look. "No Potter not now...you were just becoming bearable! Professor please do something!" Lily entwined her hand into James' and with the other one stroked his messy hair she implored with Slughorn but he played along.

"I'm so sorry Lily...my dear I simply don't know what to do...I have no idea what he has ingested..."

"No…James...you can't do this! Potter you stupid prick wake up! No...don't do this to me, I was almost ready to admit I didn't hate you, this can't happen...oh Potter you absolute dragon bollock don't DIE!" and almost as perfect as James had dreamed it Lily leaned down, her hand on his face, tears falling from her beautiful green eyes and she kissed him firmly on the mouth. Even as she pulled away she closed her eyes and remained nose to nose with him. Sirius and Peter smiled triumphantly and Alice and Molly clung to each other beaming like proud mother hens.

Then all in a blur Sirius screamed:

"YESS! Mission accomplished!" and half the class erupted in raucous "awws" laughs and applause, Remus re-entered the room tutting and James sat up grinning from ear to ear. Lily gasped and hugged him tight then she pulled back and looked completely confused. The world in that room slowed down and Lily's face turn from confusion to sudden realisation and then contorted into fuming anger. They both stood up and everyone fell silent. Lily caught her breath but was speechless. Her eyes narrowed and she slapped him square across the cheek.

"James...Potter. Wha…how….how dare you? HOW THE HELL COULD YOU BE SO COMPLETELY SELFISH AND RIDICULOUS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Oh my god." She stuttered and then pointed angrily at Sirius "AND YOU! Don't think you're getting away with this and...and Remus! I thought you were intelligent but you're no better than them...and YOU!"

She turned to Slughorn but promptly became aware she was about to scream at a Professor and returned to scalding James.

"You have made a complete idiot out of me you arrogant tosser are you happy yet? I thought you'd become tolerable but you've just proved the sheer impressive extent of your stupidity. What the bloody hell is wrong with you!?" Lily paused for breath and realised her face had flushed beyond red, her hand stung from the fierce slaps and she was severely out of breath.

"Well..." she gasped "...what do you have to say for yourself?"

All eyes fell on James and he smiled slowly.

"You're amazing."

Abandoning her bag and not daring to look back Lily stormed fuming from the room.


	9. All of the Stars

Lily was lying on her back between two large roots of a tree just behind the gamekeeper's pumpkin patch. She'd missed dinner and sure enough as the sky began to turn an evening pink she heard voices approaching warily. Alice, Marlene, Mary and Molly appeared around the corner and smiled, relieved to have found her at last.

"Lily?" Molly frowned. "We're so so sorry."

"Yeah none of that was our idea, ok we knew about it and not telling you was wrong, we're really sorry." Alice perched on the ground and lay her head on Lily's knees and Mary sat down the other side and snuggled into Lily's shoulder.

"Honestly Lily, Potter and Sirius told us about it and we just thought it was a cute, clever way to make you realise how much you and James care about each other, it was never meant to make you feel stupid or annoy you." Marlene explained but didn't sit down.

"Lilypad please talk to us?" Molly smiled mischievously and Alice started poking her over and over.

"Lily Lily Lily Lily Lily Lily LILY!" she looked down at her hands and then all four of them continued, nudging and apologising in such irritating childish voices she groaned.

"Fine. I forgive you but only if you stop calling me Lilypad and admit Potter's still an idiot." her friends cheered and hugged her.

"Ok, agreed maybe it was a bit extreme." Molly smiled diplomatically.

"Molly...the idiot faked his own death just to make me look stupid...I think that passed extreme just before the 'I'm a lunatic' ward!" Lily leaned against the tree and closed her eyes in frustration. Why could her friends not just see that Potter was a total idiot?

"Well, actually, the idiot faked his own death to prove how much he loved you and how much you, despite what you want to believe, also like him. Don't hit me..." Marlene ducked from the expected slap which never came.

"Well I don't care. I ended up crying and screaming in front of the whole class and it's his fault. I'm never going to live it down and Sev…" she stopped talking and shuffled to stand up.

"Severus what?" Mary asked quietly, Lily immediately felt bad, she could never really contemplate being friends with Snape after what happened with Mulciber last year.

"Nothing, now he'll think I'm completely in love with Potter." Lily shoved her hands into her pockets and began walking up towards the castle.

"I'm not sure why it still matters what Snape thinks." Molly fell in step beside her.

"Lily, he's not the best friend you knew when you were younger. You've seen him with Mulciber and Avery and we all know that they're with…I'm sorry." Alice wrapped a slender arm around Lily's waist.

"We know it's hard but you have to move on. And you didn't love him back so we can't pretend it would have ended happily ever after." Molly's soft tones warmed the truth.

"I know I have to forget about him. But I refuse to be cruel."

The girls walked silently towards the castle, barely worried about the curfew, each running through this most bizarre start to the term. It really was lovely being out at this time. The sun was low and burnt orange lying just behind the castle. Mysterious glimmers of stars flickered twinkling reflections in the black lake and the forest seeped a magical mist out of its borders, like it had tried to catch a cloud. Lily fixed her gaze upwards. Hogwarts itself was silhouetted against the fading sun with the reddish glow outlining the turrets; somewhere up there, Potter was sitting in his dorm, laughing about his plan. Lily couldn't decide now: did she hate him or not?

But James Potter wasn't laughing. Somewhat like Sirius he was thoughtful behind his facade and was now actually quite concerned that he maybe had overdone it and wrecked his chance with the one girl he might genuinely care for. Why? Why did he always manage to do this? He got cocky after the week had gone so well and completely ruined it. James rubbed his face and sighed. At this rate he'd never think of a decent way to tell Lily how he felt.

From his perch on the window sill in the dorm James rested his head against the window and stared out at the clear sky. As a kid he'd always looked up to the night and wonder what it would be like to be a star; not in an arrogant way wanting to be a hero that everyone loved. A literal star. Maybe he was more like a star than he felt. Stars look beautiful, peaceful and dazzling from a distance but if you get too close you see the true anger and burning. James admitted that he had absolutely nothing to complain about. His family loved him and gave him everything a kid could want growing up. Girls thought he was hot, he was Gryffindor Quidditch captain, he didn't find lessons hard and he had amazing friends. He didn't have Sirius's family issues, Peter's anxiety or Remus's "problem" but maybe, just maybe, he didn't always want to be the charming school hero. He wasn't always dying to be the centre of attention and the rock for everyone to lean on. Especially when it came to Lily, James struggled to express himself without his flirty front and for once felt completely helpless.

Sirius lay on his side watching his best friend gaze out of the window and curiously thought to himself that it wasn't just that Evans was gorgeous. There she was: intelligent, funny, caring and she was the impossible girl. Six years and nobody had reached Lily. That was the magic to James, Sirius knew. James could get any girl he wanted. The pair of them had stacks of meaningless relationships and lines of girls willing to go out with them but the difference was that Sirius was still waiting to find the one who would mean more to him than that and who would stop him needing all that attention from random girls; James had found her. That was why. Sirius turned on his front and kept quiet while James pulled the invisibility cloak from under his bed and slipped out of the tower without question. James wandered down the stairs, through the common room and ducked out of the portrait. The fat lady growled at him.

"Potter, stop right there."

James turned to face her even though he was under the cloak.

"Sorry I woke you. I'm just going for a walk."

"Everything okay?"

James pulled the cloak up so she could see his face.

"Yeah, it's fine I'm just not very tired." He smiled falsely.

The fat lady raised her eyebrows at him and smiled a little.

"Potter, when you see and hear a student's life every day for six years you know when something's up. I'm the fly literally on the wall. Is it Miss Evans again?"

James smiled in answer and pulled the cloak back over his head and moved down the corridor.

"Don't be too late Potter. Love is no excuse to wake me up in the early hours of the morning." She whispered after him.

James walked quietly down several flights of stairs and stepped into the cool air of the Hogwarts bridge. He leaned on the balcony and looked out across the grounds, being out of the tower didn't really help but he might as well take advantage of the warm autumn breeze before it turned cold. Just as James wondered what time it was he heard a voice behind him which he couldn't place.

"James Potter?"

James dropped the cloak back over himself and turned to see if he needed to escape quickly, expecting a Professor. Facing him was a Slytherin girl. Her hair, thick, dark and wavy fell to her waist in a way scarily reminiscent of Bellatrix. But her skin was a little more tanned and her eyes were lighter in colour.

"Andromeda Black." James stepped to face her. She honestly looked so much like his best friend it was a little disconcerting.

"Hi." She smiled. James half –smiled back. She was Slytherin and she was also part of Sirius's hated family but Andromeda seemed to be the other exception to the Black family's evil streak. She was older than most Hogwarts students having missed a few years through illness.

"Um, so what are you doing out at this time?" she shuffled a little shyly.

"Oh, just, um, couldn't sleep. You?"

"Oh Cissy and I arrived late, Dad was ill." She replied.

James thought bitterly to himself that obviously it hadn't worried Bellatrix too much because she'd been here having a wonderful time.

"I hope he's alright now." James gritted his teeth at wishing better a prejudiced, Voldmort supporting probable death-eater.

To his relief Andromeda laughed. A light, twinkling laugh so contrasted to Bellatrix's cackle that it almost made James laugh himself.

"Yeah right." She smiled.

"Okay fine, I guess I don't love your family. Sorry, it's a Gryffindor thing."

"You mean it's a Marauder thing. I get it. I think Sirius was amazing for doing what he did. I don't agree with what my family thinks either. But I just can't pull a Sirius right now. I'm not like him." Andromeda seemed sad.

"No one is. He's pretty unique." James laughed.

"When we were kids, Sirius used to make winding me up his life ambition." She laughed again. "Did he tell you that when he was seven years old…he pushed me in a river fully clothed just for his own amusement?" James laughed. "It wasn't funny! It was December, I almost caught pneumonia!"

"Oh come on, it's Sirius!" James smirked.

"It's okay though, he laughed so much I managed to get up and grab his leg so he fell in too…our parents went berserk."

"Oh wow, you're like him you know, Sirius I mean. The Black family's black sheep."

"Well he's far stronger than I am. So, even though I'm a Slytherin and a member of a muggle-hating family, do you think you could tell Sirius I hope he's alright? I check in with Marlene usually, she knows him almost as well as you do I reckon."

"You really are the only decent Slytherin, Andromeda." James smiled.

"Well that is a compliment coming from you." She laughed. "So I'm going to walk back to my dorm now, will you be okay?"

James looked back.

"I'm always okay." He smiled.

"You're a bad liar Potter." she winked at him.

As she walked away she turned slightly and said:

"And no, there isn't anyone who doesn't know you're in love with Lily Evans."

James couldn't help but smile.


	10. The Man Who Sold the World

Lily had fallen asleep far later than she was accustomed to and so she slept in and woke to the sound of her friends yelling and hands shaking her shoulder.

"Lily? Lily?"

"LILY GET UP!"

She turned over in a daze and found herself six inches from Molly's freckled nose.

"Oh my…what?" she jumped awake. "Why are you attacking me?

"This is what being woken up is Lily…you've never experienced it because you're always up at the crack of dawn but it's like half past nine and you're still asleep so we assumed you were dead." Alice laughed loudly, the sound piercing through Lily's sleepy state. She was sat cross legged on her bed, her trunk lay open before her and clothes were individually pulled out of the neat stack, decided against and thrown into a pile by the door.

"Alice are you planning a jumble sale?" Lily queried.

"No…" She responded in confusion. "Well Molly, Mary and I are going down to the quidditch pitch with the boys so I'm deciding what to wear. Why?"

Lily laughed internally.

"No reason."

"Right Lily we're going to go and hang out outside for a while then we're coming back about two to get ready for Diggory's party, are you joining?" Molly was a mother to everyone long before she ever had children.

Why do you need to get ready at two? Was Lily's thought but there was no point in voicing it.

"Of course she's not coming, it's a Saturday!" Alice frowned as if the question were pointless. "She'll be in some library corner somewhere with Remus and a mountain of boredom." Lily smiled and nodded, she honestly couldn't care less about the predictability of her life.

So as the first weekend of September unfolded, most of the Hogwarts sixth years took to the grounds to relax and attempted to ignore the imminence of a homework filled Sunday, obviously three did not. Lily walked into the library and felt the rush of familiarity and contentment as always. She smiled to the librarian and the path to the back right corner of the room was ingrained in her subconscious, as she rounded the corner Lily smiled again. Remus Lupin was sat at the small table surrounded by books and just in front of him sat two bottles of orange juice and a napkin filled with two croissants; it was Saturday, Lily would skip breakfast then annoy herself by getting hungry as she was studying, Remus, thoughtful and calm, smiled knowingly. She smiled a third time and sat down across from him, ahh Saturdays. Sometimes no words were needed. For a good hour they worked, Remus helped Lily better understand Defence against the dark arts while she returned the favour with a list of potions additional notes, somewhat of a dream team.

For the third sixth year student not following the crowd, the morning started drearily. Severus Snape woke to the dismal sound of his dormitory laughing at inexcusably offensive jokes as they dressed and the coldness of the Slytherin dorms. He managed to avoid going on the usual round of antagonising Gryffindors by feigning sleep, his "friends" didn't wait for him, they didn't really care, that's how the friendship worked. Severus dressed and ran for the library as soon as he felt they must have got far enough away but as he reached the entrance to the common room a voice on the other side startled him. A voice that was sweet, calm and so dramatically out-of-place he was sure a first year was lost. But no, through the entrance came Narcissa Black…Slytherin…but uncertainly so.

"Morning Severus." She flashed a tight, obligatory greeting. Quieter than both her older sisters, Snape was almost amused by 'Cissy', her typically Slytherin family mannerisms were so obviously trained into her, whatever evil she became involved in, her heart was blatantly never in it. He watched her walk back to her dorm and waited so long he was almost shut in the doorway but he dashed through and up into the main body of the school. Hogwarts never changed. For him it was just a maze of corridors to walk down, a sea of people to ignore, a place to sit inside while in his confined, solitary world. In his typically Severus manner his thoughts drifted through topics each as intense as the last so, as he reached the last book shelf and absent mindedly turned to sit at the table where he'd spent every evening and weekend for the past five years, he was startled into reality with an uncomfortable jolt.

"Oh." He gulped involuntarily. Crap. Lily. Lily and his table, his corner, his…Lily. Embarrassment, anger, guilt, sadness, confusion, anger, longing, regret, anger, overwhelming emotion, anger. He couldn't react. He just turned and tried to shuffle round into the next aisle.

"POTTER!" everyone turned just in time to see the librarian waving a book in the air and turning purple with rage. The page had a dreamily doodled "Mrs Potter" scribbled on it. It wasn't clear whether she was annoyed more about the graffiti or the small crowd of sixth year boys Potter had inadvertently brought with him.

James laughed with careless volume as did the small gang behind him,a large chunk of the quidditch crowd appeared to have simply followed as the marauders went to search for Remus. They did not make for a quiet library.

"Well that wasn't me was it? My ego isn't quite that big…yet. But sorry anyway, can't help being fabulous."

As he turned round again to join Lily and Remus's table his face dropped the arrogant, grin.

"Oh...Snape." The atmosphere of the room figuratively groaned under the weight of tension and as Lily thought haphazardly to herself that this situation couldn't possibly be any more uncomfortable, she was proved wrong. Apparently by some twisted coincidence this was the one time the Slytherin crowd decided they could use Snape's skills and so from behind James's crowd came Rodolphus, Muliciber, Evan Rosier, Avery and Crabb along with their younger recruits Rabastan Lestrange and Regulus Black.

"Oi Sev we were thinking…" Avery trailed off and everything appeared to slow down, for no apparent reason, everyone was waiting on everyone else to speak first. Severus's emotions battled each other again, the guilt, fear, the need to cry against the anger, the jealousy and as is often the case, the rage wanted out and so it happened. Severus lifted his arm ready to throw all the jealousy, the bullying and the regret into one punch directed at Potter's face, but in reality James was quicker. Lily readied herself to scream out at Potter but he surprised her, along with the rest of the world, as the fist was raised against him, James thought carefully.

Here was the moment where it wouldn't be him to blame but quite honestly what was the point? He had nothing to prove to anyone, he could beat Snape, that was obvious but what was the point. Quite honestly James Potter knew that Snape was not the worst enemy…actual evil was rearing its powerful head in the wizarding world and there was nothing to be gained by fighting pointless school scuffles. Snape's poorly tightened fist hit only James's hand as he placed it just in front of him, blocking the punch with precision and an expression on his face that showed no anger, no regret, no condescension…just pity.

Pity. James Potter pitied him. So as the world returned to regular pace Potter said simply:

"Severus, we're not doing this anymore."

No. He couldn't stand any more humiliation. No more let down. No more rejection. James had turned his back and Lestrange spoke before Snape could:

"Oi you scared Potter?"

Well that was it, now James needed to go for the final word, not for his pride and not for revenge but for sanity.

"You know what Lestrange, yes! I am scared, I am absolutely terrified. But not of you and not of him. If Snape wanted to do real damage he'd use his wand but honestly who cares? In the real world it's still us against you but there's a lot more to it and it's a far bigger picture where there's more than damaged pride to play for so I'm not going to waste my time and energy fighting you dickheads at school anymore because one day I might need to really fight. Not for the stupid, age old Gryffindor vs Slytherin thing but for what actually matters…for the people I love and for the good of the wizarding world. Please don't be mistaken, I still hate you all. I still think Snape is a pathetic coward for not having the courage to hold against you long enough even though it cost him the only thing he and I would agree is truly worth the world. So nothing has changed on the front of you all being worthless, disgustingly evil idiots but frankly I'm done wasting my time on you. It's over…sorry to disappoint."

And without another word James Potter walked out of the library and nobody followed him.

In the one moment before the librarian truly lost it and screamed blue murder until everyone left only one thing happened to finish the drama. Evan Rosier made the mistake of breaking the silence prematurely:

"Oohhh…somebody's got their wand in a knot." Was the only taunting thing he could produce but solely to release everyone's tension Sirius punched him directly in the face knocking him out cold and sending the librarian into a frenzy. As both crowds dispersed back through the corridors Lily and Remus mournfully left the library with the rest, no more studying was taking place today. They, along with Sirius and Peter stopped just outside the library door. Sirius let out one long, over dramatic exhale:

"Well…that'll get the crowds talking for the next month." he leaned with forced ease against the wall and rubbed the patch where his knuckles were beginning to bruise.

Lily, still in a state of shock, glanced down the empty corridors.

"Where do you think he went?"

"Oh who knows." Remus replied. "It's James, he could be anywhere."

"Did he mean it?" Lily asked, slightly dazed. "About forgetting all the old stuff and preparing for an actual fight?"

"Yes." Sirius stated, no jokes, no sarcasm.

"Oh." Was all she could manage and then Remus stepped in with a welcome clarification but his voice had an uncertainty Lily wasn't used to.

"Umm, James is very certain that we're on the edge of something. I think the Potters know quite a lot and these death eaters Lily, they're" he paused "...they're not just messing around, it's not just a bit of dark humour anymore it's, something else entirely."

Even Peter seemed to understand this better than Lily.

"Lily, Padfoot and Prongs have already been looking at what the auror team are planning and also…"

He paused with nerves.

"What?" she pushed anxiously. Sirius took over again, rubbing his palm on his temple in stress.

"And…also Dumbledore. He appears to be more willing to act in this whole thing than the entire ministry if we're being frank."

"But…" Lily stammered. "How could…how could the ministry not be telling us? How come nobody talks about it?"

"Because Evans it's not fact! Everyone's just feeling something, it's just little things. A few disappearances here and there…a…I don't know a CHANGE. We're just maybe on the eve of something really really bad and James doesn't want to be left on the sidelines if it comes to an actual confrontation."

"Oh my god…I had no idea." Lily couldn't think straight, she'd have to save the thinking for later because it just wouldn't sink in…a wizard war? Surely not. "Well maybe one of you should go and see if he's alright."

"Lily we've talked to him about it a thousand times. Told him it's not all his responsibility and told him that we're all there beside him if there is work to be done…you talk to him because I've nothing left to say."

With that they left her standing there. Lily walked down various corridors with absolutely no idea which direction she was going in and finally caught up to Potter as he turned up a flight of stairs toward a floor very few people ever ventured to.

"Potter?" she walked a step behind him. She was ignored. "James." She placed a hand on his shoulder and he turned to her.

"Lily, I'm sorry." He smiled sadly and turned to walk again.

"What for?" she enquired falling in step beside him and trying to keep up with his long strides.

"For yelling at Snivel…Severus." He rubbed his head. "Sometimes I just can't understand them, the people who follow Voldemort…it's just EVIL." James stopped to kick a wall. Lily felt a little helpless.

"Well I know but, you getting in a fight with them isn't going to help, so you did the right thing!"

"Evans you don't understand! I have to fight so hard not to tear them to pieces and I just get SO angry! I don't mean to, they ask for it. Don't you see how evil they are?"

Lily turned and James backed himself against the wall.

"Potter, I see perfectly well how evil they are. But I don't understand you! Do you want to fight and get hurt?" James looked straight into Lily's eyes.

"Getting beaten up or hexed hurts, Lily. But not as much as it hurts to watch them, harming innocent people and insulting you, Peter, Sirius and Remus, over and over and not doing anything. Letting them hurt people hurts me. I know it's weird that I want to fight them, I know it doesn't make any sense."

But it did. Finally, Lily understood something about James. The arrogance was hiding frustration. He was angry at himself that he couldn't save everyone from pain.

"James, it makes sense." She stared up and placed her hands on his shoulders. "You want to save people from being hurt. But pain is a part of life and one day you'll be an Auror and you'll fight and defeat you-know-who and that's how you help the world." She smiled with the genuine warmth everyone except James had shared previously, her faith in you. "And James you proved today that you are the guy who knows that fighting for no good cause is a terrible thing and that's why you're better than them. You did the right thing today and now you know that if the time comes to fight for a real cause you'll be there doing the right thing every day until you've saved the world." They both laughed. "Pain is all part of it Potter, we all have it and the fact that you feel it for other people makes you a good person, and you'll use that knowledge of pain to build a world with less of it."

"How did you get so smart Lily Evans?" she blushed but he didn't look away.

"I'm not smart. I'm just not as brave as you so I talk when I can't think of anything better." James smiled.

"I don't think that's true. Do you hate me anymore than normal?"

"I don't hate you Potter. I…" Lily stammered a little.

"Cool." James grinned.

"You know what Potter? You're an amazing person when you put your mind to it. And when you're building that world and fighting for what you said about what's right and the people you love. I'll be there…" she frowned to herself slightly for acting so vulnerably but, he seemed to need a little faith, "fighting with you."

Lily reached her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. James delayed in shock then wound his arms around Lily's waist, her hair fell onto his face and hands as she pulled herself up on tiptoes. Neither entirely sure what was happening they broke out of the embrace and Lily looked away in embarrassment.

"Seriously Evans I don't get more than a hug after a speech like that? And I said you were worth the world to me…not even a tiny kiss?"

"Don't push it Potter."

"Just on the cheek I won't tell." He pulled an expression somewhat like a hurt puppy and Lily shoved him playfully.

"Give it up Potter." Yet Lily knew she couldn't maintain this denial.

"One day Lily." He winked.

"Not likely James." She attempted a wink and failed. He laughed.

"You can't wink!"

"No I can't."

"How do you live?" he laughed, winking over and over.

"Oh because it's such a useful skill! I'm not constantly trying to flirt with everything that breathes."

He raised an eyebrow, they both knew he wasn't either these days.

"Come on Evans. The guys will think you killed me." They laughed and strolled back to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Oh and Lily…I'm also sorry for the stupid prank I played in Potions…it was…"

"Stupid?" Lily suggested sarcastically.

"Yeah it was out of line and…I'm sorry I just like you so much!" He blushed and Lily blushed in return, what an embarrassing situation.

"Potter I get the feeling that you being an idiot is kind of a small problem in the grand scheme of things…its forgotten."

"Thank god! Thanks Lily…sorry again."

"I still think you're an idiot." She smiled.

"Don't sweat it…I do too." He replied.


	11. Tomorrow We'll Be Sober

"But it's just going to be quidditch team guys getting drunk and flirting with anything that moves!" Lily groaned.

"I fail to see the downside." came Marlene's giggled reply. Lily rolled her eyes. "Come on Lily when did you have your sense of fun surgically removed?"

"Look at it this way," Mary reasoned. "..if Sirius gets drunk enough we could put a portrait in front of him and watch him flirt with that really grumpy elderly guy in the painting on the charms corridor?"

Lily knew that was unlikely but she laughed at the idea anyway. Having heard Lily's retelling of the library scene and a dramatic expression that this party would waste valuable studying time and in some way ruin her life, Lily's friends still decided the party was compulsory. So began a stupid cycle of makeup, hair and clothing decisions, was this the right look? Too try hard, too casual? The right shade of lipstick or did an up do make Alice's ears look too big? Lily selected a simple dress, green with a knee length a-line skirt and ran to sit in the common room and avoid the loud dorm. At least half a century later, Lily was marched forcefully to the Hufflepuff common room, Alice tousling Lily's hair as they went, insisting the original effect had been "librarian", where sixth and seventh years from three of the four Hogwarts houses had congregated to celebrate Diggory's 18th.

"Except hardly anyone likes Diggory, so it's just an excuse to drink away the first week of term." Sirius decided.

"Gosh Black, don't get too sentimental." Marlene smiled sarcastically. He winked in response and so the party began. It was true to Lily's prediction except for one very conspicuous absence and Lily waited as long as possible before questioning it, because she knew what that would spark.

"Hey Remus, where's Potter?" she asked as quietly as she could after an hour had passed. "Not like him to miss a room full of drunk girls."

"I don't think James is interested in this lot anymore." he hinted with a smile. "Honestly I'm not sure, he said he would catch us up but he left before explaining why." Well that sounded as suspicious as anything but Lily couldn't think of anything to do, so she sat in the corner sipping butterbeer and watching her peers with an expression of amusement. Black became steadily intoxicated and eventually landed himself in a corner armchair with an equally drunk Amelia Bones. Alice and Molly both sat in couples corners with their boyfriends, Remus and Mary were in a rather small corner chatting. Lily stood for a while listening to Charity quiz Marlene.

"Are you honestly telling me there's nothing between you and Sirius? It doesn't bother you at all when he's off with other girls."

"Charity! Stop it, I'm fine! If I got upset every time I saw Sirius flirting with other people I would be suicidal by now. We've been friends since we were tiny, I love him with all my heart but his life decisions are nought to do with me." she smiled and, apparently not to prove a point, she ran hyperactively to the cramped dance space with fellow quidditch player Otto Bagman.

So now Lily sat far less enthusiastically on a very uncomfortable sofa being stared at by a drunken Davey Gudgeon, she'd been chatting with Peter to avoid his gaze, she seemed to have turned this into wallflowers anonymous and was encouraging Peter to go and talk to a quiet Ravenclaw girl she couldn't recall the name of when, just before eleven thirty, Lily saw a flash of dark hair duck cautiously through the open portrait hole, head bowed he sloped to the drinks table and then sped to the empty corner where despite the shadow, a bruised eye was very visible. Lily exchanged a glance with Pettigrew and attempted to subtly break away, hoping she was the only person who'd noticed, making for the injured Potter.

"Lily Evans!" Her path was blocked by an obnoxiously drunken Amos Diggory.

"Hi Diggory, umm Happy birthday!" she tried to sidestep but he leaned forward.

"Thanks. YOU, look very very lovely tonight." Lily smiled and looked up at him, she felt bad trying to avoid him, it was his birthday, he was mildly attractive and James didn't appear to be asking for help.

"Dance with me?" Diggory smiled charmingly and swept Lily into the middle of the room.

She laughed in spite of herself and tried to enjoy the dancing as Diggory slurred mildly-sweet nothings at her. Feeling James watching her she caught his eye mid-turn and with a small smile, he raised his plastic cup as a toast to her and he looked so depressed Lily decided to break away. She stopped dancing and faced Diggory.

"Hey this was fun but I need to get up early so..."

"Oh please don't go! Lily I really like you and I'd love to hang out more if you'd..."

"That's sweet Diggory, we'll meet up another weekend yeah?" she was struggling to get out of this conversation.

"YES! Oh wow, I always thought you liked James Potter but we'd be so good together..." his hands tightened on her waist and suddenly Lily felt a feeling she was unfamiliar with. A benefit of magic was that she could live mostly without fear that being physically slighter than most would put her in danger, but in a cramped space, without her wand, Diggory's persistent, alcohol- fuelled amour scared her. He towered above her and Lily rotated her head a little, watching James's frame tighten in time with the tightening of Diggory's grip.

"Diggory please let me leave you're really drunk, we'll talk some other time!"

"Just one kiss Lily? It's my birthday!" He leaned in and she watched James narrow his eyes as Diggory's closed mouth collided with half of Lily's mouth, just as he relaxed into a very unyielding kiss she forced his arms off of her waist. She stared furiously at him but he was so beyond reasoning that she couldn't be bothered.

"Happy birthday." She mumbled with a glare and ran to the corner near the door.

"Well well, you took your time." James joked limply.

"Potter, I'm not your house elf!" she shuddered and rubbed her sleeve over her mouth…why did nice people become so awful sometimes?

"Lily please tell me I'm wearing somebody else's glasses and I did not just watch you kiss Diggory?" he mimed vomiting.

"I was trying to get away!"

"So I spent six years complimenting you, professing love, trying to improve myself, faking my own death and worshipping you when all I needed to do was get beyond drunk and trap you creepily on my birthday!" James tried again to joke.

"Where have you been?" she snapped, sipping his butterbeer to rinse out whiskey she couldn't stop imagining she tasted.

"Miss me did you?" He smirked but in doing so winced in pain. Lily pushed him further into the corner where the lamp illuminated his face revealing a very bruised eye and a cut with congealed blood stretching from his cheekbone to his lip. As she pushed him he rested his hands on her hips for 'balance'.

"Potter! What the hell have you done?" she impulsively reached to touch it but he flinched away.

"Shh will you!" he leaned against the wall, obviously exhausted and in a lot of pain. Lily frowned, then took his hand and lead him as quickly as she could out of the room and down the hall to an empty classroom Severus used to take her to study...oh this was going to cause gossip, she thought in annoyance.

"Right." she said as she closed the door.

"Honestly Lily any other time I'd love to but..."

"Shut up Potter this isn't funny. Sit on the table."

"Yes Professor." He pulled himself onto the desk with difficulty while Lily inspected the cuts and bruises as she had often done for Remus. James sat patiently watching her.

"Thanks Evans."

"Shh." The look of concentration on her face was so perfect he smiled despite the pain, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips curved into a tight smile, she loved focusing on something and now James wished he'd studied with her more…maybe Snape had it right he thought sarcastically. When she was finished washing the cuts, with water from the small sink in the corner usually used to wash a grindylow tank, she walked back to the table and looked James right in the face.

"So are you planning to tell me what happened?"

"Umm...do I have to?" he whined like a small child.

"Yes." Lily pulled herself up to sit beside him.

"How are you going to make me?" he winked but her face remained stern. "Okay fine, so I was walking back from the Quidditch pitch and Lestrange turned up and started winding me up..."

"Oh god Lestrange beat you up?" Lily interrupted.

"NO!" James looked hurt. "I'd have won if it was just Lestrange. But then he started saying such terrible things about all of the plans the death eaters had made, I've no idea if it was true, he was just luring me to divert my attention and then the rest of his stupid gang turned up and there was pretty much nothing I could do. I'm so stupid." He closed his eyes and smacked his head back against the wall, apparently harder than intended as he winced.

"No...that was stupid." she nodded towards the wall with a smirk and stroked his head sympathetically. "But you just made a mistake there's nothing you could've done!"

"I shouldn't have let him draw me in...I'll never make a good auror."

"James don't be stupid, you're not trained at all yet. It was just a mistake! And you'll never make a good auror if you punish yourself for everything that ever goes wrong. And if this is JAMES POTTER starting to have confidence issues I'm off to keep an eye out for flying mandrakes." She smirked.

"Umm...Lily?"

"Why is it that whenever you say my name like that…I am filled with dread?" she smiled.

"You're mistaking dread for longing." He winked with his better eye and Lily shoved him playfully.

"Hey it's Sunday tomorrow!" He announced randomly. "Maybe you'll come to the pitch and let me teach you how to fly?"

"Potter you need to rest tomorrow!" Lily started her list of excuses though she didn't know why.

"No I need to show the Slytherins that they can't keep me down." he protested. "Anyway I don't care I just thought it could be fun? And you did say it was a possibility."

"Well..." she struggled against the impulse to automatically refuse.

"Come on you can't refuse an injured man." He pulled a ridiculous pain expression and Lily smiled.

"Fine Potter, but if I fall and die I will come back and haunt you." James laughed and threw his less bruised arm around Lily's shoulder.

"Seriously Lily I'm offended…beat up by Rodolphus Lestrange pfft!"

"Alright, I'm sorry! It seemed plausible…" she teased and he glowered until it hurt too much.

"Oh thanks a lot!"

"I'm kidding Potter, come on I've already treated you and said you'll be a good auror!"

"I know…you're amazing. Would it be pushing it to ask you to kiss me better?"

"Oh my god Potter how do you manage to ruin every nice moment we ever have?" she hopped off the desk and moved toward the door angrily. James struggled down and hobbled after her.

"Sorry, I guess I hide my true emotions by exaggerating and acting the arrogant, chauvinist fool." He pulled a face bearing a likeness to an injured puppy and Lily smirked in spite of herself.

"Alright who'd you steal that line off?"

"It's something Remus said last year, he was psychoanalysing me but he made it sound like a criticism somehow." He laughed. Lily rolled her eyes and they walked back towards the Hufflepuff common room, James waited outside as Lily went in and rounded up the other Marauders, Sirius taking the most persuading...or dragging. The five of them then walked back to the Gryffindor tower and sat around verbally abusing the Slytherins, James stretching the length of the sofa and moving to make space for Lily alone. Sirius gradually sobered up and began complaining that he had been torn away from the opportunity of a lifetime with Amelia Bones.

"Sirius if your only opportunity is when she's completely wrecked I'd hazard a guess that Amelia is not your soulmate." Lily smiled with a hint of satisfaction and even allowing Potter to leave his arm rested on her shoulder without brushing it off, ignoring the winks Black threw at them.

"Well of course not but she's so hot!"

"Charming. Sweet, beautiful young love in a sweaty room full of wasted kids, who says chivalry is dead?" Remus rolled his eyes.

"Oh so I didn't see you and Mary snuggled up then?" Lily winked at him sending a blush through Remus's face. As the early hours rolled in so did the rest of the Gryffindor students, happy and exhausted, stumbling to their dormitories. Eventually Molly, Alice, Mary, Frank, Marlene and Arthur passed through and started to move up the stairs Lily decided to join the girls as they headed for sleep. As she reached the second step James hobbled from the sofa:

"Evans, say eleven tomorrow?"

"Sure." Lily smiled.

"It's a date." James stated triumphantly.

"No… it's just quidditch Potter." Lily raised her eyebrows but, she told herself it was the two fire whiskies, holding the stair rail she leaned down and kissed James's cheek, laughing inwardly as Sirius cheered loudly and Remus and Peter pretended to do a celebration dance. As Lily turned and ran up the stairs James turned slowly and jumped up and down insanely, immediately regretting it as his injuries flared in pain.


	12. Strange Magic

"I understand this may be the opportunity of a lifetime for you but when do you plan to run Quidditch practice if you're spending today with Evans?" James had been collared at the breakfast table by Molly's fourth year brother Gideon, who played chaser for the Gryffindor quidditch team and was apparently unimpressed by James' lack of practice schedule.

"You know Gideon you're pretty mouthy for a baby fourth year." James attempted to assert his authority and received a glare in return.

"James we have our first match in two weeks...come on?" he pleaded.

"Gid I promise I'll schedule a practice next weekend."

"It's a Hogsmeade visit, Black will drag you off to flirt with Rosmerta..." Gideon rolled his eyes in such a way James fought not to laugh at his resemblance to his sister.

"Fine! This afternoon then...after I hang out with Lily, practice at twelve?" James gave in easily; he suspected keeping his 'non-date' with Lily short and sweet might avoid him saying something stupid.

"Thank you!" Gideon smiled and ran off; presumably to tell so many people James couldn't back out of the practice.

"James please don't ditch Lily the one time she allows you to spend time with her." Remus sighed.

"I won't ditch her, I'll just leave them wanting more!" James winked in reply.

"Plus Gid is right...next weekend is Rosmerta Saturday." Sirius was shovelling bacon in stacks onto his plate.

"Glad to see you've got over last night's Amelia Bones heartbreak." Remus snapped sarcastically, it was nearing full moon and it was taking its toll on his patience, he received a bacon crammed grin in return. Lily had spent a very pleasant morning reading under a tree behind the greenhouses and now strolled as calmly as she could towards the quidditch pitch, she was having slight second thoughts on her plans with Potter and she realised that her behaviour towards him was becoming less and less indifferent...harder to go back on. Lost in thought Lily had reached the edge of the pitch. She located Potter leaning casually against a stand chatting idly to a trio of fifth year Ravenclaw girls and debated turning around and leaving but Sirius perched precariously on James's broom a few feet above them spotted her and kicked James in the head. He turned instantly and beamed. As though planned Sirius hopped off the broom, handing it to James, and like a stick thrown for a dog he strutted away, girls in tow, pausing only to throw a wink Lily's way.

"Well good morning Miss Evans, need I say you look stunning as always?" James grinned.

"Don't get ahead of yourself Potter." she smiled not meaning it but James blushed slightly anyway.

"Right well, do you want to jump right in for a flying lesson?" She nodded uncertainly and James flashed a comforting smile. He helped her onto the spare broom, trying hard not to read too much into the way she tensed when he brushed her waist, then jumped onto his with ease.

"So just kick off from the ground firmly but not too hard." She did so and now the pair of them hovered around five feet up, Lily froze, staring at the ground made her stomach knot and it was more than a little unpleasant.

"Hey? Evans...look up." James suggested but Lily sat firmly unable to move. He took his hands off his broom, balancing naturally, and placed them gently on her chin pulling her face upwards till they were face to face. Kiss her kiss her kiss her echoed: the metronome inside his head. Lily exhaled and steadied herself.

"Sorry, I just panicked a little, I've never actually been in an aeroplane or anything...guess heights aren't my forte."

"It's fine, you're doing fine! Moony almost cried last time I got him flying." Lily loosened up with a laugh despite being certain James was lying to her.

"Hmm, okay so we're in the air...what happens now?" her voice still shook and James moved one hand down onto hers.

"Well in theory...movement?" He smiled cheekily.

"Okay maybe this isn't a good idea." She smiled nervously.

Yet Potter seemed more determined, within the hour Lily had steadied herself enough to fly without him holding onto her and by the time the rest of the Gryffindor team arrived she was whizzing in circles, James chasing her at a pace he deliberately slowed. She was obliviously relaxed until some idiot from the ground wolf whistled causing Lily to jump and look downwards knocking her balance, the broom tossed slightly downwards and a few feet before the ground James swept carefully down and seized her arm, artfully stopping her fall. Together they finished the descent and as she dismounted Lily brushed her hair back from her fiercely blushing face and checking self-consciously mumbled:

"Well that was embarrassing."

James smirked and ruffled his hair.

"Honestly Evans, most people's first descent is far worse."

"Great." she smiled obligingly at his second lie. "Well I'll leave you to your practice." Lily sped away as quickly as possible, avoiding the grinning, two headed monster of Sirius and Marlene.

"Lily wait?" James called after her. "This was fun, again another time maybe?" Without turning she yelled back:

"Maybe Potter...maybe." Smiling to herself smugly Lily strolled back across the pitch leaving James standing with two brooms, an addled brain and slightly wounded pride.

"Hard luck mate." Sirius strolled over with Marlene, both effortlessly cool in their quidditch kits, punched his arm with a laugh.

"No it was...great." He smiled in a daze causing mocking and laughter all round.

Lily spent the remainder of her Sunday in the library corner with Remus avoiding any contact with Mary, Molly or Alice, their fishing for gossip was exhausting sometimes and they weren't likely to shut up about James for some time.

"Remus are you okay?" Lily's face took the concerned expression it often did when Remus was involved. "You look really…" she glanced furtively around the busy room "…tired."

He smiled the sad smile.

"I'm fine."

"In a world where fine means every emotion but fine, I might just believe you." she smiled back and brushed his cheek soothingly. He flinched, swiping her hand from him.

"Lily, we both know it's not fine, nothing is fine. Every time, I'm just more likely to hurt someone but there's nothing any of us can do and so why don't you just DROP IT." Irrational anger shuddered through him and he watched the smile drop from Lily's lips, though curiously her eyes lost none of their gentleness or understanding. She wasn't upset, just sympathetic. Lily didn't blame Remus, but he blamed himself. "Lily I'm really..."

"Come off it Remus, it's fine." she smiled. "Fine" really was the universal code for 'nothing we can do about it.' Remus rubbed his face in frustration. The eyes too old for the face, shadows and creases left by normally forty years' worth of worry, stress and pain, accrued by Remus in just sixteen years. Everyone felt the same about Remus, understanding, sympathetic but helpless. Every summer his parents tortured him with 'cures' and every month the boys did all they could to make him feel as comfortable as he could although Lily had a suspicion that James and Sirius enjoyed their friend's affliction more than he felt comforted by. She reached across the table persisting in hold his hands which burnt with warmth but she couldn't reach across the isolation.

"Well Evans, not cheating on your arrogant prick boyfriend with this scum are we? That's a step down even for a prudish muggle-born like you." Lily tensed, Bellatrix's voice had a sharp quality to it which pierced the skin and made one feel as though her insults crawled around the flesh. She glanced up at Remus and they both ignored the taunts. "Oh come on don't be boring Evans! What happened to 'hexing me so hard I wouldn't understand up from down'" she cackled. "I love your pitiful threats…you make my day you know? PURE entertainment, ironic of course given that you're a repulsive little mudblood."

Remus placed his hand on Lily's as though they could calm each other down and Bellatrix moved closer, Mulciber, Lestrange and Avery blocked the gap between book cases and she leaned between the two sitting.

"Bellatrix, what is your problem?" Lily shuddered but remained calm. "Honestly I get no fun out of this weird hatred between us and I believe James informed you that we were all finished with you so I would appreciate it if you just left us alone, please." Bellatrix barked a laugh and muttered close to Lily's ear.

"I also believe your little Jamesikins had a run in with a few of my friends and didn't fair too well. Pretty little slash he's wearing on his cheek now. Shame it wasn't his chest but you know what they say, if at first you don't succeed, next time he might stay and fight rather than running like the conceited coward he is."

"How can he be the coward Bellatrix? It was what…six to one? Even by your standards that's pretty pathetic." Her voice quivered a little and it occurred to her that, despite it being insignificant, she was too scared to be loud in a library.

"Oooooh, defending him are we Lovebug? You think you're special Evans? You believe all the crap he spouts about you being the only one for him? This is James Potter, he loves himself so much there's no room for others. Do you know I saw him the other night?" her voice took on a whiny romantic tone. "Out on the Hogwarts bridge in the moonlight with my little sister Annie…" Lily frowned, it would mean nothing to her if James hadn't actually admitted to walking out to the bridge in the night recently, and she'd heard him pass a message to Sirius from his cousin Andromeda. "I wonder Evans, do you think he told her he loved her? Wouldn't be the first time he's lied to get a girl. Or did he just go for a 'walk' to a broom cupboard with her, simple as that. Well as much as I'd hate that idiot in my family tree, at least he'd be marrying into a decent blood line and not diluting proper, magical blood with you and your disgusting, muggle family. I bet they hate you don't they Evans? Your family must pretend to be so proud but they don't understand you, they're so grateful when you leave to come here, they can live without fear that you'll accidentally curse them. Oh poor baby Evans, a freak in your own home town and a freak here."

"Shut up." Remus snapped at Bellatrix but she cackled incessantly.

"Anyway I've no time left now, I can't be exposed to either of you much longer or I'll catch a condition like yours Lupin or just lose any magical integrity I've maintained in this muggle vermin hole." She spat in Lily's hair and as Lily stood up filled with rage Bellatrix caught her off guard flicking a book up into Lily's face, grinning grotesquely as she left. Remus exhaled slowly.

"Lily I'm so so sorry are you okay?" tears burnt Lily's cheeks however much she resisted. "I can't believe I just sat there Lily I'm sorry I couldn't think of anything to do but ignore her until she lost interest."

"Don't worry about it Remus, it's not your fault obviously. Can we just go back to the common room? Please?" her voice was weak and she couldn't focus on work now.

"Of course." He smiled and quickly planted Lily's books back into her bag placing it on one shoulder and his own on the other and taking her hand. They left the library and Lily waited outside a Muggle Studies classroom while Remus ran in to ask a question about his assignment. Leaning against the cold, stone wall Lily heard the distinct voice of Bellatrix again but in a hushed tone.

"No, nobody else is coming, it's just us…shut up Snape!"

She turned her head in time to see Bellatrix, Lestrange and Sev slip into a corridor behind a tapestry, they hadn't seen her and she couldn't resist the leading tone of their conversation and padded down the corridor until she was in earshot. Remus found her after barely a minute and she decided not to tell him what she'd heard, James would find out and take it upon himself to investigate. Lily walked numbly, committing the few details she'd heard to memory. The three Slytherins were meeting "him" in Hogsmeade on Saturday. Lily had no time and no location but she could guess who "he" was…and the probable Death Eaters meeting him so close to Hogwarts seemed like a terrifying idea. She needed to know what they were planning; she could tell Dumbledore, protect everyone and have Bellatrix expelled all in one fell swoop. And providing she didn't get caught there was nothing to lose if she didn't find out anything too interesting. Her head spun with plans, the least sensible she'd expect herself to imagine.

"Oi swatters, you'll be late for dinner." Lily's thoughts smashed and fell in front of her face as Sirius was striding towards them with a grin and Lily caught a glance of James as he frowned suspiciously at the hands joined between her and Remus. She remembered what Bellatrix had said about James and Andromeda and how he couldn't ever really be loyal to anyone, Lily knew of occasions where he'd been charming and one track with girls in her year until they fell for him and then he lost interest. She pushed the thought from her head, telling herself there wasn't room for it or him just now, but she still felt her pulse quicken as she saw him, anger and jealousy she assumed.

"You okay Evans?" Sirius asked before James had the time to stop staring at Remus with a look of confusion.

"Yeah I'm always okay." She smiled seeing Sirius raise his eyebrows at Remus who mumbled 'Bellatrix' as a simple explanation. James stepped towards Lily but she shifted her weight back away from him a little and Sirius hovered for an awkward second before throwing his arms round Lily and joking to James that it was his cousin and his rescue to make this time. Lily walked with Sirius ahead of the others.

"Thanks Padfoot."

"Right, Evans, what's up? You looked at James like you were ready to kill somebody. What has my delightful cousin said this time?"

"I'll tell you later, it's honestly not a big deal." She smiled unconvincingly.

"Lily if it's enough to stop you for even a second it's a big deal." He kissed her forehead and glanced back at James making sure he looked reassuring and didn't deliberately wind him up.


	13. Nightswimming

After dinner Sirius casually told the others that Lily had agreed to help him with a charms assignment and predictably this was met with protest.

"Oi how come I'm not privileged enough to have help?" James frowned.

"You're not quite as stupid as Black is." Lily smiled.

"Well thanks Evans, right confidence booster you are." Sirius laughed.

"What about Peter? He definitely needs a little tutoring, no offence Wormtail, or is he not invited to your private lessons?" an edge appeared in James' voice, he loved Sirius with all his heart but, in some situations, he couldn't always be trusted.

"Mate, I swear I'll keep six inches away at all times, you know I wouldn't do that to you, Marauder's promise. But you and Remus get to enjoy the company of this delightful and formidable witch so why shouldn't I?"

The two young men exchanged a look and James realised if he couldn't trust his best friend he was closer to the other side than he hoped, he smiled then pulled Remus and Peter with him down the corridor. Sirius and Lily walked down and sat by the lake enjoying the last of the autumn evenings.

"So...is this a better date than Quidditch with Prongs, swotting with Moony or...whatever you did with Snape?" he laid back on the grass smirking.

"This isn't a date Black, you just like winding James up." she laughed weakly in response.

"Well that's always fun yes. Anyway, how long do I have to make small talk before you tell me what happened earlier that made you flinch, and not subtly I might add, from poor James?" he rolled onto his side and supported himself on his elbow.

"I'm sure girls run away from Potter all the time."

"More than he'd like to think. Seriously Lily, what's up?" She sighed and turned over to face him.

"Just a small run-in with Bellatrix, telling me I was a freak, that my family hated me and the usual nonsense, but she also had a little pull at the James nerve, saying he was pretty much incapable of loving just one person and that she'd seen him with Andromeda on the bridge the other night." she avoided meeting Sirius' eye.

"Oh she's such a manipulative little...Lily I can't deny James did chat with the nicest member of my family out on the bridge a few nights back BUT it was a chance meeting and all they did was talk about me," he swept his hair back in a mock flaunting manner. "and you I believe."

"But Sirius it's hardly that which bothers me, even you can't defend Potter when it comes to the facts, over the last three years James has been with an estimated sixty percent of the girls in our year, twenty-five percent are safe because they're Slytherin and at least ninety percent of the girls he's been with, he expressed no interest in for longer than a week. It's his nature, charismatic, good-looking and flirtatious...not a commitment person."

Sirius couldn't help himself and as a result, laughed almost directly into Lily's face, she looked at him with confusion.

"I'm sorry Evans it's just, only you could reduce romance to statistics. And although you're absolutely correct about James'...antics...you need to realise that he only messed around with other girls out of boredom and he wasn't committed to anyone because he's always been focused on you!" Lily laughed. "He has! I swear and every time you rejected him you kind of crushed him but he still didn't give up. And FINALLY, you can't deny that you like him too!"

"I can deny whatever I want to deny." Lily smiled.

"You can't deny how upset you just got at the idea that James didn't care only about you." Sirius winked. Lily couldn't think of a response so she just sighed and laughed into her hands, Sirius laughed with her, pulling her to rest on his shoulder.

"Isn't it questionable from a feminist persepective to date someone who so clearly doesn't have respect for women generally?"

"That's probably a conundrum for you to work out yourself but I would say I hope it's not the flirtatiousness of one's teenage self by which we judge moral character." Lily almost laughed again at his sincerity but instead sat silent a few more moments before they walked back towards the school. Sirius held her hand and the few students still outside stared hungrily at a possible topic of gossip, Lily rolled her eyes in embarrassment and when they reached the Gryffindor tower Lily stopped walking.

"Sirius, can I tell you something?"

"Evans I know we're having a moment but this would be a really bad time to tell me that you actually love me and not Prongs." Lily punched him lightly.

"No, it's serious! And if you say 'no I'm Sirius' so help me..." he laughed. "Before you turned up outside the classroom before dinner I overheard Bellatrix and a couple of her cronies talking in a corner, I know it sounds stupidly coincidental, but they were talking about meeting 'him' in Hogsmeade on Saturday. I don't know any more than that but I wanted to tell somebody and even though you're probably the worst person for acting without thinking, Remus will want to just tell Dumbledore and James will rush into it and leave me out so he can be some romantic hero."

Sirius rubbed his temple, processing.

"Right give me a minute...hold on, why aren't you just running to tell Dumbledore? You and Remus are the same sensible, level-headed stock." Lily looked at her feet, shuffling her hands.

"I was going to, we could be saving everyone from something awful and have Bellatrix expelled or even incarcerated..."

"Then why don't you just leave it to Dumbledore?" he frowned "...oh...Lily who exactly was with her in this plan?" Lily refused to look up. "Lily you can't refuse to act on this information because you're still protecting Snape." She closed her eyes and exhaled miserably. "But you know that."

"Yeah I know that...but Sirius, I can't," she stuttered and fought back tears. "I can't throw Sev under a bus with the rest of them before I give him a chance."

"Lily he's one of them!" Sirius grasped her shoulders and they were face to face.

"NO!" she raised her voice. "Not yet, he's not the same...he deserves a chance." crying now she stared straight into the dark eyes. "Please, Sirius, just help me! Come and find out what's going on, then I can decide if Sev is beyond redemption then..." he turned away but she pulled his face back. "THEN...we tell Dumbledore and we sort this out."

Sirius looked down into her flushed face, sighed and nodded.

"Fine, I'll help but the first sign of danger for all of us and I don't care what you want Lily, we destroy them."

She breathed in to stop the sobs and nodded back.

"Thank you...Padfoot." she fell onto his shoulder and he stroked her back.

"It's alright Evans, as long as we all stick together it'll be fine, Marauder's promise."

The portrait door opened suddenly and James peered around the frame at the embrace:

"Prongs!" Sirius grinned awkwardly, pushing Lily from him with such enthusiasm that she tripped a little. James stared angrily for a brief moment and Lily tried to catch his eye.

"They're announcing the Quidditch semi-final results on the radio...you coming?" The sparkle in his eye was gone and he didn't look at her before turning back into the common room.

"Well that looked awful." groaned Sirius. "I'll talk to him don't worry."

Lily stood for a moment alone in the corridor and closed her eyes but James' disappointed face etched itself in the darkness, she hoped Sirius could keep her information to himself. She walked straight past the group of her friends gathered around listening intently to the Quidditch scores and quietly ascended to her dormitory lying on her bed until her friends joined her a good hour later.

"Lil?" Marlene whispered sitting by her on the pillow and Lily smiled at her. "Hope you're alright, you were really quiet earlier?"

"I'm fine, honest." Marlene arched her fair eyebrows at her. Molly and Alice came in giggling.

"Lils , James is still downstairs, by the way, I think he wanted a chat." Lily dragged herself off the bed, not even bothering to change out of her decrepit pyjamas.

She reached the last cold stone step and looked over at James, sat on the windowsill staring out at the stars, he looked pensive, mature and strong, Lily could see how he would make an excellent Auror and she sat beside him before he'd even turned around.

"Evans." He smiled in spite of his earlier jealousy.

"Hey Potter" she smiled, then looked out of the window, avoiding eye contact. "Did Sirius explain that our little moment in the corridor earlier…wasn't what it looked like?"

"Yeah he did…Lily if you're upset about something would you come to me next time?"

Lily was now unsure of whether he meant about Bellatrix's taunts or the Hogsmeade plan or whether he even knew about either.

"Why would you want me whining at you all the time Potter?" she tried to lighten the tone.

"You don't whine Evans, that's why when you're upset I know you've reason to be. And I want to be there for you if you are, you said that if there was a fight you'd stand with me...well DITTO! But I kind of want to stand with you all the time!" he turned red. "Okay I'm making a serious mess of this but what I'm saying is that I know I joke a lot and I've always been flirty but I'm going to tell you one last time…I'm in love with you Lily and I would do anything for you and if we're fighting in a few years time then, whatever happens, I'm fighting for my friends and family and…for you." He took a hurried breath and looked down at his hands again.

Lily couldn't say anything but she understood now, she stopped arguing with herself and saw it, James was funny, brave and devoted to goodness. She leaned over and kissed him as the last words left his mouth. Winding his arms around her waist they fell against the window and James pushed the soft, auburn away from Lily's face, smiling and looking briefly out at the stars again. He kissed her forehead:

"I hardly knew you cared." He smirked.

"Potter I've told you how much of a good person you are in the past and I've never hexed you like I threatened to…I think that counts as caring."

"Well you also called me arrogant, pathetic and rejected me, on average once a week, for several years."

"Hmm…persistent little nuisance really aren't you!" resting nose to nose against the window.

"That's me." James laughed. "And the moral is that true love always prevails."

"Or that if you stalk and irritate a girl for long enough she eventually either goes mad or gives in but that's a bad thing to teach boys." Lily buried her face in James' Gryffindor jumper.

"Lily Evans I plan to be around to irritate you for as long as you'll let me." James entwined Lily's hand, using it to straighten his own glasses, he smiled to himself as he examined the ink-stained callous on her right middle finger.

From his corner under a tree, Severus huddled further into his cloak, hiding from the rain, the night and the scene in the Gryffindor window.

The only thing left for him on this side was her and it was gone, time to change sides.

After dinner Sirius casually told the others that Lily had agreed to help him with a charms assignment and predictably this was met with protest.

"Oi how come I'm not privileged enough to have help?" James frowned.

"You're not quite as stupid as Black is." Lily smiled.

"Well thanks Evans, right confidence booster you are." Sirius laughed.

"What about Peter? He definitely needs a little tutoring, no offence Wormtail, or is he not invited to your private lessons?" an edge appeared in James' voice, he

loved Sirius with all his heart but in some situations he couldn't always be trusted.

"Mate, I swear I'll keep six inches away at all times, you know I wouldn't do that to you, Marauder's promise. But you and Remus get to enjoy the company of this

delightful and formidable witch so why shouldn't I?"

The two young men exchanged a look and James realised if he couldn't trust his best friend then he was closer to the other side than he hoped, he smiled then pulled

Remus and Peter with him down the corridor. Sirius and Lily walked down and sat by the lake enjoying the last of the autumn evenings.

"So...is this a better date than Quidditch with Prongs, swotting with Moony or...whatever you did with Snape?" he laid back on the grass smirking.

"This isn't a date Black, you just like winding up your best friend." she laughed weakly in response.

"Well that's always fun yes. Anyway, how long do I have to make small talk before you tell me what happened earlier that made you flinch, and not subtly I might add,

from poor James?" he rolled onto his side and supported himself on his elbow.

"I'm sure loads of girls run away from Potter all the time."

"More than he'd like to think. Seriously Lily, what's up?" She sighed and turned over to face him.

"Just a small run-in with Bellatrix, telling me I was a freak, that my family hated me and the usual nonsense, but she also had a little pull at the James nerve,

saying he was pretty much incapable of loving just one person and that she'd seen him with Andromeda on the bridge the other night." she avoided meeting Sirius' eye.

"Oh she's such a manipulative little...Lily I can't deny James did chat with the nicest of my family out on the bridge a few nights back BUT it was a chance meeting

and all they did was talk about me," he swept his hair back in a mock flaunting manner. "and you I believe."

"But Sirius it's hardly that which bothers me, even you can't defend Potter when it comes to the facts, over the last three years James has been with an estimated

sixty per cent of the girls in our year, twenty-five per cent are safe because they're Slytherin and at least ninety per cent of the girls he's been with, he expressed

no interest in for longer than a week. It's his nature, charismatic, good-looking and flirtatious...not a commitment person."

Sirius couldn't help himself and as a result laughed almost directly into Lily's face, she looked at him with confusion.

"I'm sorry Evans it's just, only you could reduce romance to statistics. And although you're absolutely correct about James'...antics...you need to realise that he

only messed around with other girls out of boredom and he wasn't committed to anyone because he's always been focused on you!" Lily laughed. "He has! I swear and

every time you rejected him you kind of crushed him but he still didn't give up. And FINALLY, you can't deny that you like him too!"

"I can deny whatever I want to deny." Lily smiled.

"You can't deny how upset you just got at the idea that James didn't care only about you." Sirius winked. Lily couldn't think of a response so she just sighed and

laughed into her hands, Sirius laughed with her, pulling her to rest on his shoulder and they sat quietly for a few more minutes before walking back to the school.

Sirius held her hand and the few students still outside stared hungrily at a possible topic of gossip, Lily rolled her eyes in embarrassment and when they reached the

Gryffindor tower Lily stopped walking.

"Sirius, can I tell you something?"

"Evans I know we're having a moment but this would be a really bad time to tell me that you actually love me and not Prongs." Lily punched him lightly.

"No, it's serious! And if you say 'no I'm Sirius' I will hit you properly." he laughed. "Before you turned up outside the classroom before dinner I overheard Bellatrix

and a couple of her cronies talking in a corner, I know it sounds stupidly coincidental, but they were talking about meeting 'him' in Hogsmeade on Saturday. I don't

know any more than that but I wanted to tell somebody and even though you're probably the worst person for acting without thinking, Remus will want to just tell

Dumbledore and James will rush into it and leave me out so he can be some romantic hero."

Sirius rubbed his temple, processing.

"Right give me a minute...hold on, why aren't you just running to tell Dumbledore? You and Remus are the same sensible, level-headed stock."

Lily looked at her feet, shuffling her hands.

"I was going to, we could be saving everyone from something awful and have Bellatrix expelled or even incarcerated..."

"Then why don't you just leave it to Dumbledore?" he frowned "...oh...Lily who exactly was with her in this plan?" Lily refused to look up. "Lily you can't not act on

this information because you're still protecting Snape." She closed her eyes and exhaled miserably. "But you know that."

"Yeah I know that...but Sirius, I can't," she stuttered and fought back tears. "I can't throw Sev under a bus with the rest of them before I give him a chance."

"Lily he's one of them!" Sirius grasped her shoulders and they were face to face.

"NO!" she raised her voice. "Not yet, he's not the same...he deserves a chance." crying now she stared straight into the dark eyes. "Please, Sirius, just help me!

Come and find out what's going on, then I can decide if Sev is beyond redemption then..." he turned away but she pulled his face back. "THEN...we tell Dumbledore and

we sort this out."

Sirius looked down into her flushed face, sighed and nodded.

"Fine, I'll help but the first sign of danger for all of us and I don't care what you want Lily, we destroy them."

She breathed in to stop the sobs and nodded back.

"Thank you...Padfoot." she fell onto his shoulder and he stroked her back.

"It's alright Evans, as long as we all stick together it'll be fine, Marauder's promise."

The portrait door opened suddenly and James peered round the frame at the embrace:

"Prongs!" Sirius grinned awkwardly, pushing Lily from him with such enthusiasm that she tripped a little.

James stared angrily for a brief moment and Lily tried to catch his eye.

"They're announcing the Quidditch semi-final results on the radio...you coming?" The sparkle in his eye was gone and he didn't look at her before turning back into

the common room.

"Well that looked awful." groaned Sirius. "I'll talk to him don't worry."

Lily stood for a moment alone in the corridor, closed her eyes but James' disappointed face etched itself in the darkness, and hoped Sirius could keep her information

to himself. She walked straight past the group of her friends gathered round listening intently to the Quidditch scores and quietly ascended to her dormitory lying on

her bed until her friends joined her a good hour later.

"Lil?" Marlene whispered sitting by her on the pillow and Lily smiled at her. "Hope you're alright, you were really quiet earlier?"

"I'm fine, honest." Marlene arched her fair eyebrows at her.

Molly and Alice came in giggling.

"Lils , James is still downstairs by the way, I think he wanted a chat." Lily dragged herself off the bed, not even bothering to change out of her decrepit pyjamas.

She reached the last cold stone step and looked over at James, sat on the windowsill staring out at the stars, he looked pensive, mature and strong, Lily could see

how he would make an excellent Auror and she sat beside him before he'd even turned round.

"Evans." He smiled in spite of his earlier jealousy.

"Hey Potter" she smiled, then looked out of the window, avoiding eye contact. "Did Sirius explain that our little moment in the corridor earlier…wasn't what it looked

like?"

"Yeah he did…Lily if you're upset about something would you come to me next time?"

Lily was now unsure of whether he meant about Bellatrix's taunts or the Hogsmeade plan or whether he even knew about either.

"Why would you want me whining at you all the time Potter?" she tried to lighten the tone.

"You don't whine Evans, that's why when you're upset I know you've reason to be. And I want to be there for you if you are, you said that if there was a fight you'd

stand with me...well DITTO! But I kind of want to stand with you all the time!" he turned red. "Okay I'm making a serious mess of this but what I'm saying is that I

know I joke a lot and I've always been flirty but I'm going to tell you one last time…I'm in love with you Lily and I would do anything for you and if we're fighting

in a few years time then whatever happens I'm fighting for my friends and family and…for you." He took a hurried breath and looked down at his hands again.

Lily couldn't say anything but she understood now, she stopped arguing with herself and saw it, James was funny, brave and devoted to goodness. She leaned over and

kissed him as the last words left his mouth. Winding his arms round her waist they fell against the window and James pushed the soft, auburn away from Lily's face,

smiling and looking briefly out at the stars again. He kissed her forehead:

"I hardly knew you cared." He smirked.

"Potter I've told you how much of a good person you are in the past and I've never hexed you like I threatened to…I think that counts as caring."

"Well you also called me arrogant, pathetic and rejected me, on average once a week, for several years."

"Hmm…persistent little nuisance really aren't you!" resting nose to nose against the window.

"That's me." James laughed. "And the moral is that true love always prevails."

"Or that if you stalk and irritate a girl for long enough she eventually either goes mad or gives in but that's a bad thing to teach boys." Lily buried her face in

James' Gryffindor jumper.

"Lily Evans I plan to be around to irritate you for as long as you'll let me." James entwined Lily's hand, using it to straighten his own glasses, he smiled to

himself as he examined the ink stained callous on her right middle finger.

"I love you too Potter."

From his corner under a tree, Severus huddled further into his cloak, hiding from the rain, the night and the scene in the Gryffindor window.

The only thing left for him on this side was her and it was gone, time to change sides.

Perched on the windowsill of her dorm the following Saturday morning Lily found distraction in the raindrops sliding lazily down the pane, each following the path designated by its predecessor. A musical tap at the door and she slipped from her perch, forehead crinkling with laughter lines past his years Sirius smiled.

"What are you doing on the floor?"

"Oh just thought I'd lie in the dust for comedic value." She snapped sarcastically but still, he entered without invitation.

"Whatever floats your boat Evans. Right Hogsmeade time, side warning Frank and Alice just had a blazing row, not sure why, but they're both sulking."

"Oh good." Lily raised her eyebrows.

Down in the common room Alice had subsided to a sarcastic ember and sat with Molly on the sofa refusing to go to Hogsmeade, Lily was sympathetic but relieved to have a few less people to shake in the village. Frank stayed behind to wait for Alice's forgiveness and Arthur agreed to keep him company so Lily walked with Remus even agreeing to hold James' hand, mainly because the autumn wind was chilled that morning, as Peter and Sirius bounced ahead.

As they reached Hogsmeade village Lily detached her hand from James's, claiming she needed to ask Sirius if he finished the essay she'd helped him with, and skipped to catch up with the other two:

"Peter, I think James wanted to talk to you." she lied, flushing slightly with the exercise, cold and dishonesty, but Peter ran from them despite her nerves.

"You're a terrible liar Evans." Sirius laughed.

"I know, I can't lie or whistle, I'm basically useless. Right, did you tell James about this little operation or do we need to work out a plan to lose the other three very quickly?"

"Hmm, the second one. It's fine though, I was planning to just sneak off." Sirius shrugged.

"After our little corridor misunderstanding earlier I'd like to avoid giving James anything more to worry about if you don't mind."

"Oh yeah that might look bad...well let's just head into the village and I'll say I'm off to find Rosmerta, you can distract James (I don't need to know how) while I try and find out where our slythery friends are, Remus and Peter are kind of used to just hanging out, we all find each other in the end."

"Sirius Black...king of vague, thoughtless plans." Lily teased.

"Winging it seems to work for me Evans, just go with your gut." he smiled confidently.

So they, much to Lily's unease, "winged it". James, of his own accord, said he and Lily were off to Madam Puddifoot's to which Sirius mimed vomiting and headed for the Three Broomsticks with a wink, Charity, Marlene and Mary actually walked past and went to Tomes and Scrolls with Remus and Peter. James picked a squishy chair by the window, covered in sickening heart-shaped cushions and presented Lily with a flower to which she raised her eyebrows. His smile slipped.

"Right what did I do now? I've barely spoken to you today so I can't work out why you're all stroppy with me." He regretted his word choice immediately.

"Stroppy?!" Lily laughed. "I was just amused by the fact that you appear to have decided that being female makes me some form of flower and love heart craving romance lunatic."

"So you're annoyed that I'm being too affectionate is that it?"

"Not exactly just...even brushing over the gender stereotypes…I don't want us to start acting all different now, I liked how we were before."

"When you hated me?"

"No...after that. The nice bit where we were friendly but you didn't treat me like a china doll that needs constant kissing and gifting to keep it safe, by all means be affectionate but be...you."

"Can I pop back to school and get some parchment to make notes on what exactly you want?"

"James shut up. You know I didn't like you when you were constantly Mr charming, I finally liked you because you stopped being over the top, you were real, we had interesting conversations and I thought we were similar people."

"Evans before you past tense me can I just say I'm only being like this because I don't like the fact that other guys clearly would love to be sitting where I am right now."

"I didn't have you down for a jealous melodramatic James Potter!" Her voice was a tad louder than intended and now other couples, all hand holding and co-dependent were staring at them. "So who are we referring to here? Because if you're only here to piss off Sev then..."

"Don't be daft. Lily, you wouldn't recognise a guy that fancied you if he proposed!"

"Potter, none of this matters! I'm with you because I like you...that's that. But I don't want you to get too absorbed, I want us to have the same friendship we had and to be independent still. Okay?" she'd inadvertently moved along the chair and his hand slid to her knee.

"Lily I'm not asking you to stop being independent, you just stopped hating me a few weeks ago so I'm not off to ask your Dad for your hand in marriage yet, not that I think there should be some kind of transfer of control or anything, you're totally your own person of course!" she laughed and James felt himself physically warm up with the sound. "Just to be clear, the same friendship...plus the kissing bit...I hope." the lopsided smile was back and Lily ruffled James's hair, mostly to avoid him doing it and leaned in.

"Idiot."

"You love it."

BANG BANG BANG.

"SORRY TO INTERRUPT!" Sirius leaned his face against the window in the inch between Lily and James' noses. "I NEED TO BORROW EVANS FOR A SEC IF THAT'S ALRIGHT MATE." James sighed and mimed 'I'm going to kill you' to which Sirius cupped his ear and shouted. "CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

Lily stood up and James stared at her.

"Are you really leaving after that?"

"Come on James...it's Sirius...you can trust me not to throw myself at him I think."

"Not you I'm worried about." He muttered and walked out to ask Sirius what was up while Lily apologised to the girl at the counter for not actually ordering anything.

"Prongs I just want her to help me look for something to give Rosmerta as a spontaneous gift." he winked. "Please? I'll give her back afterwards. Oh god don't tell her I referred to her like an object…I'll be off the Christmas card list before you can say feminist."

James reminded himself AGAIN that trust and friendship was all they had over the death eaters, so he rolled his eyes and caught Lily as she left the Cafe, she felt bad for lying and entwined her hands around his neck for a brief kiss, despite the prying eyes of younger students, she walked away laughing as Padfoot threw his arms around James, shouting:

"Where's my goodbye kiss Mr?" and James pushed him to the floor playfully and glanced at her once before jogging off to find the others.

"Right Evans, fancy a pint?"

"What?" she arched her eyebrows at him.

"Our new all-star evil friends are in the backroom at the Hog's Head."

"Wow..."

"Yeah not my taste at all…you'd expect death eaters to be a tad more nouveau riche."


	14. The War Between Ourselves

Lily wasn't sure how he managed to joke through everything but she felt infinitely better for bringing Sirius along. They walked quietly to the outer edge of the village and came to what Sirius referred to as the Three Broomsticks' horrible younger brother and Sirius produced an invisibility cloak, promising to explain how he had it later, which he threw over them. Lily could feel the warmth radiating from Sirius and his breath becoming laboured and just as the question of what to do now bubbled at the surface Lily saw a figure in the corner of her eye that she couldn't mistake.

"Muffliato." She whispered.

"What?" Sirius frowned at her beneath the cloak and she noticed up close that his eyes were almost as tired looking as Remus's.

"I think our only option here is to sneak in behind," she paused. "behind Snape, we won't hear otherwise."

"Into the room WITH THEM?" Sirius closed his eyes and laughed incredulously. "Lily you're possibly the ballsiest person I've ever met."

She smiled and felt by her right hip to hold Sirius's hand, he winked and gave her a reassuring nudge, Lily randomly imagined this was how it felt to have a brother, then exhaled and they hurried in behind her old best-friend.

"Albus?" Minerva was virtually jogging to the desk in his office, short of breath and her face panic-stricken.

"What is it Minerva?"

"It's Aberforth."

"I'm sorry?" Dumbledore looked up with an expression of shock not conducive to his usual state.

"Aberforth just sent his Patronus to say he left someone else in charge of the bar for the day and came back a minute ago...to see Severus Snape, Bellatrix Black and Lucius Malfoy in the backroom waiting for 'someone' and then a dark-haired boy and a ginger girl disappeared under an invisibility cloak just outside the pub door." The two professors exchanged glances before Dumbledore promptly disapparated.

Lily couldn't breathe, she pressed herself further into the corner as the cloud of black smoke merged into a hooded man and took his seat. Bellatrix looked sickeningly excited, Lucius smirked and Snape's face fell into a kind of mask, Lily could hardly imagine what he was thinking, then the figure spoke.

"Thank you for your loyalty." Lily had never heard a voice with such texture, it was sharp but slimy and she physically closed her eyes as she felt the voice scrape through her, Sirius's arms moved all the way round her waist holding her to his chest to avoid either of them falling. And Lily almost smiled, she was so absolutely terrified and disgusted with the people, with herself for being arrogant enough to even try this plan but being this close to the man who had the entire wizarding world in panic was sending her body into frenzy of outpouring adrenaline.

"It is inspiring to me that in the cesspit of muggle loving scum that Hogwarts has become, your young minds are courageous enough to see the light through it, to remain pure and loyal to the cause."

Lily was shaking, Sirius half-expected her to collapse. Bellatrix was shaking, Lily half expected her to spontaneously combust.

"My Lord, I am your servant, always. We have been collecting others, several of our house feel as we do...feel disgusted with the poison that has seeped into the school."

Sirius's arms physically tensed listening to the prejudice and Lily leaned back a little holding him steady, surely he wasn't rash enough to head into conflict with Voldemort…but then again nobody would ever believe she was stupid enough to land herself here either so clearly war made people crazy.

"Bellatrix, I thank you again. I will tell you soon of the plans, we are close now, the wizarding world will be purged of the impurity and we'll start where the little wizards and witches start...but I hate to tell you that we are not alone in this place so I cannot induct you now."

The three at the table glanced around in confusion and in the corner Lily felt Sirius's heart beat double time on her back and she felt vomit rise in her throat, her hand moved to her wand pocket but her head spun..spells…spells…SPELLS? Sirius closed his eyes and turned Lily just enough to stare into her eyes, he vibrated with fear but if this was it at least he would die feeling leant his forehead to hers, one hand buried in the warmth of her hair, she pressed against him both tingling with fear and drawing the warmth from each other as the room turned to ice, she held tight on his neck, their noses fell side by side against each other and for a second of friendship and final hope, Sirius loved her more than he knew he was capable of, he pressed his lips to hers for less than a second, chapped, warm and trembling as The invisibility cloak flew from them and four cold pairs of eyes watched them. Lily turned to the face of near translucent pale and behind the maniacal expression of anger, she saw a boy with sad eyes. Time slowed immensely and as Lily turned she caught the tears glistening in Snape's eyes, Voldemort raised his wand with a grin and Snape stood from his chair but before any spells flew, Sirius saw the figure behind Voldemort and grabbing Lily's hand let his mind direct his fear into a spell. The window pane exploded and as the Slytherins all turned in a panicked daze, Dumbledore fired a curse aimed to miss Voldemort by an inch, the cold eyes met the piercing blue and Voldemort disapparated.

Dumbledore scooped the invisibility cloak from the floor and even in the madness he was curious, then he stood up again and at his full height and anger was beyond imposing, Bellatrix and Lucius ran from the room, who knows where they were going now and Snape hovered in shock and then fled too. Lily stepped out of the corner but never dropped her hold on Sirius's hand and she couldn't bear to look up at her headmaster. Sirius didn't know how long the silence would last but he looked up hoping Dumbledore would just expel them and break the tension. Albus stared at the two teenagers, you couldn't find two more opposite and he had so many questions...why were they here for a start and what on earth were they thinking? But they were punishing themselves enough and could he really reprimand genuine, blind courage?

He stepped forward and placed his hand very gently under Lily's chin forcing her to look at him.

"Mr Black, Miss Evans...we need to talk about this soon. This isn't your war to fight yet and I don't like that you've shocked me so much I haven't anything decent to say so...get out and come to my office at 8pm."

The two exchanged a bemused look but scurried from the room.

"Oh and Miss Evans? I think I saw Potter looking a bit lost down the street." the faintest wink and Lily let out the breath she'd been holding for hours.

Lily walked slower on the path back into the village than she'd ever walked before and somewhere along the way she'd started crying, mainly a release of tension but probably something to do with seeing Snape in what Sirius was now calling the natural habitat, he said very little as they walked but he didn't let go of her hand and neither of them mentioned it. As they approached the Three Broomsticks Lily stopped in a slightly dark alley.

"Can we decide how much of this little anecdote we're telling James and Remus before we go in there?"

Sirius rubbed his face in the way he always did when he couldn't decide something.

"Maybe tell them the Voldemort bit..." he suggested. "but miss out the bit where I kind of kissed you because I would rather like to keep all four limbs."

"This isn't a joke Padfoot!" she chewed her lip a little and thought. "Let's not tell them anything for now...I want to see what Dumbledore thinks first."

"What about the 'bringing down humanity and starting at Hogwarts' implications Evans? Don't you think we should tell them that? I told you I was with you right up to the point where we're risking my friends to defend your greasy little sidekick." Sirius recoiled in her glare.

"We will tell them...tonight though...after Dumbledore."

"Right so for the third time this week you and I sneak off together and you end up crying on my shoulder rather than James's."

"Oh sorry to inconvenience you.."

"Shut up Lily you know that isn't what I meant...I meant maybe this is putting James at risk more than anything else. I can tell him I'm no threat until I'm bloody well purple but when it comes to you he loses all reason, I care about you Lily but I DON'T care about Snape and I'm not risking my friendship for him." He folded his arms and they stared at each other.

"We'll tell them later I swear...and we'll explain our absence to James then." Sirius scoffed. "Either you keep quiet a few more hours or I tell him you kissed me."

She glared, he glared, she smirked triumphantly, he laughed.

"Fine...I always knew women were manipulative shrews."

"Whatever." she smiled.

"I only kissed you a tiny bit...it was an end of life thing rather than a passion thing." he blushed a little.

"I know that, but James probably still won't take it lightly."

"If we're going to lie for a bit longer..."

"Sirius don't call it lying please."

"If we're going to lie for a bit longer, you need to make your face less red." Lily scrubbed furiously at the teary blotches on her cheeks which only made it worse, Sirius smiled sarcastically and they walked in and sat at the table with their friends. Lily slid in next to James, squeezing his hand as she did and smiled at Remus while Sirius went to give Rosmerta an imaginary gift. Molly and Arthur were sat down next opposite them having left Alice and Frank alone. Lily stared at the table, thinking through the last half an hour and analysing Snape's expression, had he wanted to be there? What would he have done if Sirius hadn't blasted a window as a distraction? She hardly noticed James rubbing her back, asking if she was okay without speaking.

"Hey Lily?" she looked up suddenly at him but he just looked at her, eventually she turned her head and discovered Arthur was the one addressing her.

"Sorry yeah?" she smiled.

"We saw Snape running through the village looking a bit...weepy...didn't have a run in with you again did he?"

Lily laughed nervously and watched James stare at her.

"I haven't spoken to him since the first night of term." technically not a lie, she felt tension actually leave James's body and felt immediately awful.

"Right there's too many baby third years in here, who fancies a trip to Honeydukes and then sitting in the grounds like bored teenagers are meant to do?"

That was all it took and James lead the rest of them out of the pub, they were all very restless, avoiding work but having nothing else to do really. Lily knew James felt it worst because he knew exactly what he wanted to be working on right now and being left here to listen to gossip about the outside must be frustrating as anything. Her head hurt was all she knew and an afternoon in the cold sun of autumn passed, Lily debating the technology of muggle households with Arthur, leaned against a tree watching James and Sirius throw and catch a snitch and occasionally contributing a word to Remus's charms essay, this was the most relaxed she'd felt all day, although the bar had been set rather low. Glancing at her watch Lily caught Sirius's eye and stretched.

"Right, I said I'd go and work on an Ancient Runes project with Greta so I'll see you all back at the common room a bit later." she blushed even in the brisk wind and turned very swiftly with a pointed look at Sirius. She dawdled down the corridor towards the headmaster's office waiting, she wasn't going in on her own for love nor money.

"Do sit down." Lily and Sirius sat in the chairs placed at a strategic distance so Dumbledore could pace behind the desk as he spoke.

"Professor, can I just say something?" Lily appeared to be speaking without deciding to but he nodded anyway. "Umm, this really is my fault Sir. I overheard Bellatrix and Lucius talking and I thought for some reason that I could handle investigating without informing you and that was ridiculous and arrogant and I'm really awfully sorry." Albus smiled at her and she breathed a little easier.

"Miss Evans, I know you didn't mean for anyone to be in danger, I know you'll accept all the blame because Mr Black here already spends sufficient time in detention and probably can't afford much more, but I also know why you didn't come straight to me even though you should have." the lines around the vibrant blue deepened with every change of word. "I know Severus was hardly the organiser of this meeting and I promise you that even though I will have him under immensely close watch, he will not be penalised too harshly." Sirius shuffled in discomfort but said nothing. "Sirius I'm sure you think he deserves worse but I suspect you both understand better than most people here that this war, and it is a war dear Boy, is bigger than any of us can imagine and by expelling the three Slytherins you encountered this morning I give three more to Voldemort's army, at least here they only..."

"Risk the lives of the students?!" Sirius blushed, he sounded far angrier than intended.

"Sirius, I apologise, I can't claim to know all the answers but I know that they can do less damage under my observation here at the school than outside by his side." Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and Sirius nodded.

"Now obviously I can't punish you for this morning's act of idiotic bravery because the rest of the school populous really doesn't need to know it happened, to be perfectly honest I don't want to punish you for it, but I do want to discourage it make no mistake there." He blinked slowly and turned to Sirius. "You…are a bright young man with extraordinary bravery and a powerful but worrying tendency to do whatever it takes for good and Miss Evans…you are an exceptional witch but I need to make clear to you both, this is a war to be fought by adults and I have no doubt you will do your part if and when the time comes but for now, please just keep your ears open and keep in contact with me...no more acts of blind courage. Hot-headedness is inherently youthful and in that respect both wondrous and dangerous." He looked at them both carefully for a minute, trying to stop himself seeing the two excellent Order of the Phoenix members he couldn't have, he smiled. "Now go, go and be young and...well I doubt carefree is possible but, happy at least." They stood up and smiled before walking to the door. "And yes, you can tell your little army, I'm sure you'll all play your parts one day just be careful for now."

"We're not telling them all now are we?" Sirius laughed as they neared the Gryffindor tower.

"No, it'll be heaving in there!" Lily sighed. "We'll just make sure at least James, Peter and Remus stay up after everyone else and tell them all when we can."

Molly had gone to bed early, Arthur to his dorm to study in peace and Alice and Frank for a "walk", Lily decided to tell them tomorrow if she got the chance. It was nearly one before the last seventh years finally climbed the stairs and Lily was almost asleep in the armchair when Sirius tapped her arm with a fire stoking fork, she shuffled into an upright position as Sirius slid to the floor and looked at his friends sat on the sofa, his eyes met James's.

"Er, right. We need to tell you all something."

"We?" James interrupted. Lily sighed again.

"Yeah, we." she smiled at his frown. "Don't panic it's nothing...well it is bad but not 'us' bad!"

"So Lily heard Bellatrix and Malfoy and Sniv talking in a dodgy corner the other day about meeting "him" in Hogsmeade." Remus coughed uncomfortably and James widened his eyes. "And she umm, well she didn't want Snape getting in any undue trouble...which isn't undue at all but that's beside,"

"Sirius." Lily shushed. "So I, didn't want to go to Dumbledore about it, which is what I knew you'd do Remus, sorry." she felt just awful looking at him. "And I just couldn't trust how you'd react James, I didn't want anyone going headlong into it and getting in a fight."

"So you told PADFOOT?" James spluttered and she moved to sit beside him.

"I just, I knew, look I'm not saying it was the best decision but I needed to take someone with me." she was messing up this explanation stunningly.

"With you? Hold on you're going?" James stared at his friends.

"Went, is the term I think Prongs." Remus smiled knowingly.

"Umm yeah, this morning." Sirius returned to rubbing his temple. Neither of them could continue.

"So...what happened?" Peter was looking with intent fear at Sirius.

"Well, I found them at the Hog's Head, Lily and I snuck in under the cloak...sorry mate..." James ran his hand through his hair. "And umm, you-know-who was there."

A tension fell separating each person from the rest, Lily picked up the story.

"And they mostly said awful nonsense about this muggle cesspool and then he started talking about purging wizard kind and starting...here. And and and he stopped and he knew we were there and then he pulled the cloak off and really I genuinely thought that was you know...it and then Dumbledore and the window and" she was babbling in a panic and as her eyes filled, any anger James had dissipated and he pulled Lily to him staring at Sirius over her head.

"He, tried to kill us but somehow Dumbledore knew what happened and he got there and saved us. Nearly headless Nick of time." he failed to even smile as his own joke. Remus moved to the floor and hugged Sirius, feeling him shake but saying nothing.

"So why didn't you tell us this after it happened?" James spoke softly, he couldn't be angry with Lily or Sirius right now. Lily took several breaths.

"Well Dumbledore wanted us to go to his office tonight so we thought we'd wait till after that to see what he said." James swapped places with Remus, smacking his friend's back as Remus brushed off Lily's tears asking quietly.

"So, what did he say?"

"He can't expel them, because they'll just go straight to...to...him, and he was pretty annoyed I risked all of our lives just to defend Snape but he didn't shout, he just told us to be aware and tell him next time anything happens because...he thinks we all have a place fighting the war outside, but not just yet."

"But he HAS to expel them surely? Those monsters are getting more arrogant and active every second they're here! Has Dumbledore forgotten Mary last year? Doesn't he listen?" James was close to yelling but Remus shushed him.

"James you know Dumbledore. He's done what he thinks he has to do whether or not it's right."

They sat in silence for several full minutes and then Lily turned to Remus, though she was really asking James.

"Are you...angry with us?"

"Lily of course not, I'm mainly relieved you're alright and scared that you acted so...I don't know, thoughtlessly? It's just,"

"I know." she sighed watching James stare at the fire. "And I really really am sorry."

"Well, I don't know about you lunatics but I think we should just leave it for tonight and discuss it another time if we need to so I'm going to bed." Remus kissed Lily's forehead and he and Peter climbed the stairs leaving the common room in a state of unease.

"Right, there's something else." James said, his expression pained. "You're both staring at me like I'm an injured pygmy puff so come on." Lily and Sirius exchanged glances.

"Sirius, if Bellatrix saw it's better we say it first because she'll make it far worse than it was."

"Okay, mate I will tell you this but first I'd like you to promise that you won't think it's more than it is and that if you want to be angry with someone then, by all means, hit me." James tensed. "I...I kissed Lily." James deflated, less angry and more knowing. "But it honestly, honestly, cross my heart was nothing! James I know better than anyone that Lily means more to you than even she'll ever understand." Lily suddenly felt she shouldn't be here but wanted to stay and make sure they resolved the issue. "James, Lily feels like a sister to me, more than that you are essentially my brother. I LOVE you and the boys more than I love anyone else, I wouldn't betray you to save my own life, but I thought it was my last moment on earth and it was a completely platonic thing, literally a second and it wasn't her fault at all."

James looked at her, then him, they all sat in silence and eventually he smiled.

"Well, I won't hit you tonight mate."


	15. Our Kind of Harmony

"You what now?!" Alice was yelling, loud. Lily sighed, watching Molly cry and the boys look back at her in complete bemusement.

"I know, I was so stupid, I thought I could handle it on my own and keep Severus safe but it was just..."

"Dangerous? Idiotic? Reckless?" Molly's face was flushed half angry half relieved.

"I know Mol and I've said I'm sorry but everyone's fine so please stop crying." Frank pulled Alice to a halt and rescued Lily.

"Lily we know you won't act this thoughtlessly again and I think from the sounds of what you heard, we really have bigger issues than stressing about each other right now. Alice, it was a mistake, Lily won't go awole again okay?"

"No not that... you kissed Sirius?!" Lily exhaled in exasperation and Frank and Arthur burst into laughter.

"Alice do you not think you may be missing the point of this conversation?" Lily smiled. "Umm...I might be focusing on the doom and gloom but You-know-who now has insiders at school and he's planning to increase his army and send them here?"

"Yeah yeah impending doom but...Sirius?" Her eyes looked as though somebody was continuously pumping air into them.

"Right, it was literally nothing and I only told you so Bellatrix wouldn't get there first and make me sound like the whore of Babylon."

"Nothing? I always knew there was something there, you hated him a bit too much." Alice winked just to wind Lily up.

"ALICE! Let's get this straight, I am not attracted to Sirius. It was JUST friendly and near death experience and can we please stop mentioning it? James got over it, you can certainly let it go."

"Who said I'm over it?" James raised his eyebrows at her from the armchair, Lily inhaled sharply and frowned but he smiled. "Breathe Evans I'm messing with you. I know you're not having an affair with my best friend...mainly because he and I share a room and spend unhealthy amounts of time by each other's sides but it is fun to tease you about it for a while." Lily pouted but could hardly argue.

"When you say share a room, mate, not going to tell the crowd about night time snuggles?" Sirius winked and James threw a sofa cushion at him. With this Molly decided she was Maraudered out and dragged Mary and Alice off upstairs, doubtless to discuss the new Lily drama or panic about homework. While Peter threw in a joke about James being "antlery" in bed, Marlene settled into a Quidditch discussion with the three boys and Lily noticed Remus, sat isolated in the window seat, not reading the book in his lap.

"Not joining in the Sunday evening madness?" she smiled, sliding in beside him, Remus smiled meekly his eyes not moving from setting sun.

"I'm suspecting some Sunday night madness if that counts, just a bit tired now though, don't worry." Lily slid her hand into his.

"Remus, would you tell me about it?" she asked gently but he eyed her suspiciously nonetheless.

"Why?"

"Because...I want to understand, I know I can't help but I…want to." she stared straight into his eyes forcing him to stop gazing at the sky.

"Lily you're the cleverest person here, what can I tell you that you don't already know? Or that Prongs hasn't already gossiped about."

"I've actually never asked James about it. I know what happens technically but, where do you go? And how much are you aware of? You don't have to tell me but, if you want to then, I'm here Remus." she squeezed his hand. "Always will be." his face crinkled into lines with the smile, he swallowed unsure of how to thank her.

"Well, I umm...actually get taken down to the willow and it's a secret passage to a house outside the grounds where I can turn safely." Lily would've laughed at how dramatic it sounded if anyone but Remus had told her. "Usually it's Minerva or Hagrid but then the boys sneak down and...make the best of a bad situation I guess." His calm smile took on a strange quality, he would tell her how he felt if he knew. "As for the awareness thing it, depends. Some of the potions I've tried keep the rage under control but even subdued I hardly know who I am so I honestly couldn't stop myself from hurting anyone, no matter how much I try." the smile vanished.

"Maybe I could come with you one day?" Lily said, she was aiming for compassionate but just sounded ignorant. He tensed and frowned at her. "oh god, I meant in a supportive way but it sounded so...ugh...insensitive and danger seeking." Remus exhaled, the anger surfaced even in his human form.

"Lily you really can't, it's sweet but what would you do?"

"Play cards? Read some Virginia Woolf?" she smiled but he hardly laughed.

"No, Lily, James and Sirius...their," he glanced at the crowd then continued. "...patronus forms. They're strong animals so they can hold me back if anything goes wrong."

"Okay." she smiled sympathetically. "I'll just be ready with hot chocolate and plasters then." he was gone again though, watching the light reach the horizon.

"And on that note, time to go I think." Lily hugged him before he could resist, she'd always worried but, Bellatrix had mentioned it this term and evidently wasn't holding back her insanity anymore, so she suddenly felt Remus was in more danger than ever. He moved to the door not saying goodbye to anyone but they all noticed his silence.

"Right boys, that's our cue. Peter head up and grab the umm...blanket and papers." Sirius winked and the others laughed.

"Subtle." Peter smirked and jogged the stairs. Lily was suddenly amused by the sheer number of people who now knew Remus's secret and she grabbed her satchel, may as well pop to the library for the next ancient runes book if they were all headed out anyway. She and James stood outside the common room waiting for the other two and he seemed distracted, pulling at a strand of Lily's hair without focus.

"Potter are you feeling okay?" she gently tapped his chin, looking at him.

"Yeah fine, why?" the grin was back, Lily noted that James looked utterly different when his Quidditch captain, king of the lads, charisma mask fell off and then reprimanded herself for psycho-analysing everyone, she placed her hands on his chest.

"Well just because we've been alone for all of thirty seconds and you don't appear to have noticed our first moment of privacy in days." she smiled and his eyes lit up a little.

"Aww…disappointed are we?"

His hands wound behind her waist and she pinned back against the wall, face upturned to his. His Quidditch jumper, soft and smelling of wood smoke and grass stains.

"Sure you wouldn't rather I swap with Sirius." he smirked.

"Shut up..."

James could taste the coffee on Lily's lips and felt at her hip the tiny line where the green jumper ended and the jeans began, feeling both deprived and relieved when Peter and Sirius hopped out of the portrait hole.

"Don't stop on my account." Sirius winked marching down the corridor.

"Please do stop on mine." muttered the Fat Lady and James laughed pressing his forehead to Lily's and exhaling.

"Maybe one day we'll actually be in a place without other people, wouldn't that be a miracle." he smiled and watched Lily swing her bag on one shoulder and walk away towards the library.

"Oh Potter...you're in way out of your depth." came the laugh from the portrait hole.

"Opinions to yourself please...don't need romance advice from a painting."

"Whatever, late one tonight I assume." she frowned.

"I would say don't wait up but...please do." James winked and sprinted off after his friends.

· * * * * *

Something had gone wrong. James felt it the second he, Sirius and Peter arrived in Patronus form at Remus's clearing by the lake. Something about the potion hadn't been right and now they were sprinting, Wormtail in Padfoot's mouth, back through the forest, halfway up the hill to the castle they stopped. Remus wasn't chasing, he'd found something else in the forest, thank god. Prongs turned to nod at the messy, black mutt to his side and they ran the rest of the way back up to that unlocked kitchen door. Racing back in through the portrait hole, they turned at last, back into people and James looked again at Sirius at Peter, nobody had the words.

Lily was still up, sat at the window and she turned to them with confusion.

"What's up? You all look…" James was already beside her looking out towards the forest line. Sirius looked her in the eye.

"Something wasn't right with Remus. He…" he closed his eyes and tried to regain his breath whilst Peter choked the rest.

"Usually he's fairly playful with us as animals but, he was outright aggressive tonight. Fighting Padfoot and Prongs from the second he turned and not in the usual way. Like he, wanted them dead." He gulped and Lily stood up to comfort him.

"But what could have made him different like that?" she mumbled.

"Unless Remus has suppressed anger issues beyond anything we could comprehend, it has to be the Wolfsbane." Sirius frowned. James looked away from the window, seemingly satisfied.

"But Slughorn makes it perfectly EVERY time, how could he have…" Sirius shook his head and interrupted.

"It was tampered with. No prizes guessing who in my opinion."

"Sirius you can't know." Lily attempted to reason.

"No. You're right I can't. But Bellatrix has been gunning for Remus all term, itching to stir us all up. I can't know yet but I damn well will find out soon." He stormed for the stairs and Peter sighed sadly and followed, exhausted.

James watched them go and then moved slowly to the sofa before the embers of the fire, leaning his chin on his hands and staring into them. Lily moved in beside him.

"James." He took her hands and examined them as a distraction, not making eye contact as he told her.

"It was bizarre Lily. He's always, well not him! I've gotten used to him having no idea who we really are but he's just like any other animal usually, aggressive, ready to play but manageable. Tonight was, like watching the owl you had as a kid try and peck the flesh off your bones out of pure, inexplicable hatred. I can't help but think it was us." Lily winced and clutched his shoulder ready to comfort. "We pushed too hard, we made too light of his situation. None of us could ever really understand and he's finally had it with us. I've failed him."

"No. No James. Sirius is right it'll be the potion, you know Remus! You love him and you've always tried to do right by him, he knows that. He also knows you and Sirius for the slight madmen you are and he accepts that he wouldn't turn on you like that." He turned to her with a gentle frown.

"Christ I hope you're right." She slid her arms around his shoulders, stroking his hair, swept beyond messy by the wind. He leaned in and kissed her with everything he had.

"Lily if it was the death eaters. That's it, they're targeting us outright and I'm done pretending this isn't war." She nodded and wiped the tears that fell from his anxious eyes. He stared into her face like she was blinding him but he couldn't look away and she searched his face before she pulled him into an embrace again. They fell along the sofa, James lifting her until she was balanced on him, clutching at her waist, her neck, her cheekbones. He looked at her hair, lit up by the glow of the dying fire and felt her hand lifting at the hem of his jumper, pushed her face gently from his.

"Evans I never want to rush anything here."

"James it's me that shouldn't be suggesting things now, you're in shock." She furrowed her eyebrows and he smiled.

"Honestly I'm not losing the plot or anything I just, thought about losing you earlier and…" he hesitated. "Anyway none of this is a reason to do anything you don't want this soon."

"We've known each other six years James, yes I couldn't stand you for five of them but you've proven endlessly how much I can trust you and, I want this." He stroked her cheek.

"Are you sure?"

"Sure." She smiled, tightening her grip on his back and gently sliding her thigh in between his. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure yeah." He grinned breathlessly and pulled her to him again, her hand once again at his waist and now it crept up his abdomen before pulling his jumper off entirely. With it came his glasses and he almost tipped Lily off the sofa scrambling to put them back on again.

"I'm not flying blind tonight!" he laughed and lifted her shirt off, stroking the full length of her arms and planting kisses across her collarbones as he did, losing himself completely in her face. Lily felt stupidly self-conscious with him staring so intensely at her, into her eyes and then at the firelight playing on her porcelain skin, in the shimmering hair, back into those bright eyes. She stood from the sofa and pulled him to his feet where he unzipped her skirt from the waist, she laughed at the difficulty of unbuckling someone else's belt and he shuddered with the pleasure of her tickling laugh. When, finally, they were back on the sofa James kissed, painstakingly slowly, from her chin to the crevices of her neck down between her breasts and traced with his soft lips past her bellybutton until he found her: Electricity. Hours later they lay entwined, flame hot even in the stone room, bathed not in firelight but the cold pink sunrise, dozing on and off, taking turns inadvertently to watch the other sleep until they found it time to go up to the dorms before the common room saw its' first early riser.


End file.
